I see in the paper today that NYC has the 2nd slowest commute to work in the nation!!!(right behind Vineland NJ?????(a suburb of Philadelphia, but who really cares.)

No shit! I mean I live in one of the outer boroughs and I can actually almost reach out and touch Manhattan. Yet if I were to take public transportation into the city, it would take me two hours door to door! So this news is nothing new to me. I could swim across the river faster!

But one gets used to commuting and I find ways to keep me busy...(like looking for visible panty lines on men, e.g.).I usually read while on the train. But this morning I had a group of very load women standing near me and I couldn't figure out what language they were speaking (I think Russian or Polish) but it was hard on my ears and my head. Had a headache to begin with and I just wanted them to shut up! On the other side of me I had a guy falling asleep who at any minute was going to fall sideways onto me. I keep shifting in my seat and kinda nudging him with my elbow...he'd wake up for a second...shift, and off he'd go again, little by little tilting in my direction....was a lil comical if you want to know the truth. Then I faked a loud sneeze! Achooooooo! , pulling up my arms and making sure I nudged him.....this woke him up! and kept him awake as I kept blowing my nose and fidgeting....He gave me a dirty look as if my germs were gonna make him sick or sompin.....the nerve of him! when his slimy lil head almost landed on the shoulders of my newly cleaned jacket!

Hope this day gets betterer!!!!

Peace

VPL

Ok, so I'm losing my mind...what else is new?

I'm sitting here (in my office) this morning (got in early so its not like I'm doing this on company time or nuttin) and a friend of mine calls me to ask me if I've ever wondered if men worry about panty lines! ( i.e., a prominent, visible panty line or VPL ("Visible Panty Line") occurs when the outline of someone's underpants becomes visible through his or her clothes). Hmmm...gee, I've never really wondered about that I told her, but now that she's brought up the subject, I'm not really sure......I don't think they worry if their underwear lines are showing or not...and I don't recall ever seeing a VPL on any man's ass I've had the occasion to google at on the subway or street. But I will ask around. Maybe even do a little survey to find out if they actually think about that while they're dressing. And now that she's brought the subject up...it is rather interesting that they don't seem to have panty lines and us women have to go thru the pains of choosing what underwear goes with what pair of pants or skirt we chose to wear! We've got a lot to choose from tho.......bikinis, thongs, hi waist, lo waist, gramma bloomers, and the occasional "none"....(which I believe is known as "commando") and also the fact that they must match our bras! Where did all this begin anyway? I mean why am so concerned about whether my bra matches my panties or whether you can see my underwear thru my skirt or pants? It's not like I'm going to disrobe on my way to work or at work, (well maybe on my way home, (if i get lucky, he he) Oh no...it's for when I get home so when I walk in to the door and disrobe after working all day, I'll be all matched! Yeah that's it! ;-)

Peace

Some Deep Questions

Just some Tuesday afternoon, rainy day questions....(cause I'm going nuts here at work so I feel like sharing my nuttiness, if y'all don't mind..... ;-)

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why does you OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


Peace

Think on This!

Email of the Day.....

Something to Think About

Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die .

Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him Without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a Person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for Anything, but you still can't help but smile when you push them down the stairs.

Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars And a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006: We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.
Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

Peace

Happy Monday!

AARRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MONDAY!

Monday, Monday, can’t trust that day
Monday, Monday, it just turns out that way
Oh Monday, Monday, won’t go away
Monday, Monday, it’s here to stay……………..
(Mamas and Papas)

Vanillaholic?????????

I've had a falling out of sorts with something I've loved all these years, something I've craved, yearned for, even would kill for or die for!....Chocolate. I know, I know, how could I? Without even realizing it I crossed over the boundary to vanilla! You see, once upon a time I loved chocolate...would keep me company on those long lonely nights when I had nothing but cravings. Would satisfy me in so many ways when those "I need something" sweet urges would come upon me out of nowhere. It kept me company when I baked for the holidays, on birthdays, even the occasional "romantic" interlude. (ha, those were the days). Let me not digress tho. Well now that the "experts" say that chocolate (in its purest form) is actually good for you, I don't want it! I've become a "vanillaholic"! You don't see that word being thrown around like "chocoholic". But that's what has happened. I love everything vanilla all of a sudden and I'm wondering why there isn't more studies being made public about the benefits of the poor vanilla bean. I mean after all, it's derived from orchids....how romantic....! And, according to what I found on Google( which we all know to be the truth and nothing but the truth), Thomas Jefferson is credited with vanilla’s arrival in the United States. When he returned from his ambassadorship in France in 1789, he was dismayed to discover that no one in the States knew about vanilla, so he wrote his French attaché requesting that he send him 50 vanilla pods. Clearly Jefferson’s personal passion was well received since soon it was used as a flavoring and a medicine, and – you’re right – an aphrodisiac.

And......in the 1800s Dr. John King, advised in the American Dispensatory, that one should use vanilla to, "stimulate the sexual propensities." He went on to give a very carefully detailed recipe for a decoction promising amorous evenings. If the good doctor was right, a hefty swig of vanilla extract before bedtime could work like a charm. In controlled tests designed to better understand the connection between smell and sexual arousal, Doctors had volunteers wear masks scented with an array of odors. Several fragrance combinations were found to be very effective in increasing penile blood flow. These included lavender and pumpkin pie, doughnut and black licorice and pumpkin pie and doughnut. However, mature men were most aroused by just one simple smell…vanilla! Modern science has proven what native people figured out centuries ago, and many of us discovered on our own -- whether you prefer to eat, drink, or smell it, vanilla is definitely a potent character in the arena of love!

Hmmm, vanilla does seem to have some promising benefits!

And, in the words of Forret Gump, "That's all I have to say about that"!

Peace

Lazy Day

Happy Weekend! A lil music for your continuted dancing pleasure.....

Peace

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7ze8wgFi_A

HDF

IT'S HAPPY DANCE FRIDAY!

Rejoice..hurray....halleluia!

Get those feet moving!

Peace

The Three

"Just D", "Biker" and Me......The three,

At the airport....

Meeting for the first time....

Forming impressions...

Laughing....

Bonding.....connecting.....

Now knowing........

"Friends for a reason". :-)

OHHHHHHHHHHHH BTW, the other "net friend" that I mentioned in my other post that I'm also meeting today at the airport is:

BIKERBABE!

(SORRY BOUT THAT BIKER ;-)


Peace

Going buggy

I wonder if my encounters with bugs these past days is indicative of a sign of what my life is like......these past days I've been running into pests in the damnest places...I mean I'm just walking along, doing my thing...and there they are..........

List:
Slugs.....lots of em on the sidewalk the other day
Hornets.....all over a tree trunk yesterday
Flies.......all over the other tree...(never saw that before)
Lil gnats all over my office.....

Slugs and hornets and flies....oh my!!!!!

My interpretation:

Slugs: represent the fact that I'm moving too slow? But what's with all that gooey stuff? LOL

Hornets: Yeah I can't get onery.....or does it mean horny? hmmmmm

Flies: bzzzzzzzzzzzzing around.....bothering people? Not me!!! lol

Gnats: This, I believe, is what lifes' doing to me......a lil at a time.......and I'm not even noticing until it's too late.......

Ok enought with this.....it's starting to scare me now.........;-)

Peace

What the f......????

This is a "blows my mind" moment. This is something that truly amazes me and yet breaks my heart. These are the possessions of a homeless man I run into on my daily trek to my office....I don't know whether you can see it or not but there's a pallet (on wheels no less) that's about 10x5 with a rope that he uses to drag it along over his shoulders....three shopping carts ...two small dumpters just brimming over with "stuff". The funny part of all this is that it's in a different spot every time I go by! I mean he's got enough "stuff" here to funish a five room apartment!!!!! and it's not all junk either...there's kitchen chairs, a table, shelves, paintings.....All I can figure is that maybe he sets up this stuff at night and entertains? I realize this is not something to joke about...but....man!!! he must be in really good shape to be moving this shit around like that.....Maybe some day I'll ask him!

Friends

OHHHH....guess what? My friend and blog idol, Boondoggled as you know, is going on vacation....but I didn't mention that she's got a layover at the airport by me! We're gonna meet for dinner...along with another "net" friend.....that we've known for a while. It's nice to form friendships then get to meet people that you've been talking with. Wonder if she'll still talk to me once I "guest" blog for her.......(I promise to be good. He he he!)

Peace

C O F F E E

Went to bed too early last night...then couldn't sleep after two hours.....had a few cups of coffee this morning.

Peace.....(she says really fast)

OMG!!!

This may have been ok with my Mom, but this shit just ain't effing right!!!!!!!!!!(unless of course you change it to "How to be a Good Husband" (sans the makeup!)

Peace

How to be a Good Wife from Housekeeping Monthly
An article published in “Housekeeping Monthly” in 1955. It is a measure of how things have changed since then. While it may make the male readers laugh, it will probably enrage the women readers! (my comments in parens)

One: Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed. (The stove's right over there, dear!)

Two: Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. (Ok fine, I'll do that)

Three: Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. (after I take my prozaik and down three martinis)

Four: Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. (ok, i'll leave work early just for this, better yet, i'll do it before i leave, even better - do it your effing self!)

Five: Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables. (what's a dustcloth?)

Six: Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by.Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. (I live for this!)

Seven: Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. (No problem!)

Eight: Be happy to see him. (as always!)

Nine: Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. (Just a smile? I do this all the time as long as the kids aren't present)

Ten: Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. (Yes dear!)

Eleven: Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. (totally understandable and encouraged!!!!)

Twelve: Your goal: try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. (no need to worry about me, I'll be just fine.)

Thirteen: Don’t greet him with complaints and problems. (Never!)

Fourteen: Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. (I love an open marriage!)

Fifteen: Make him comfortable. Make him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. (Wonder what they're really trying to say and can't cause it's 1955!)

Sixteen: Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. (WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT???????, SHE SAYS SOFTLY)

Seventeen: Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. (OK OK!!)

Eighteen: A good wife always knows her place. (Yeah looking down a barrel of a shotgun!)

Aarrgghh- Monday

I wish I could wake up like my dog. I'm not talking about looking like him, mind you, although he is sooo cute, doncha think? What I mean is dogs go from 0 to 90 as soon as their eyes open...I, on the other hand, go from about 0 to 5 only after about an hour after waking. In other words, I'm a slow waker upper....Gotta have my coffee, my shower, a lil reading....I just can't wake up and go...give me a lil time and I'll get there....Oh and that reminds me, as I got from 0 to 2 here, it's "aarrgghh" Monday and a reminder to all you people to get out on that campaign trail for michael c to get elected...and you all know why by now....."aarrgghh" Mondays will officially be changed to FUNDAYS!!!! and I can't think why y'all wouldn't want that to happen.....

Peace

Lazy Day

Ahhh ..A lazy Sunday! My kind of day. Didn't do an "effing" thing, excet went down to the water, sat in my beach chair and gazed at the water...(was all I was capable of doing today)..was nice too! Just trying to find some inner peace and make my heart smile again.

Nervous!

Oh, one more thing I have to share ....My friend and blogger idol, Boondoggled,(link to the right) has asked me (and another one of her strange friends) to "guest blog" for her while she's away on vacation. Now is that an honor or what? Or maybe she just doesn't know what she's getting herself into. She's already put up a disclaimer on her blog.. I doubt that'll cover the err, damage that may be done between Roll (the other charactor who will guest blog) and I by the time she gets back. But it'll be fun! So if you have any suggestions for some strange and weird ideas, let me know ok????

Slugfest

Ya wanna know something? I hate slugs! There, I've said it. I don't hate a lot of things but I think slugs are high on my list..probably right behind liver. Why, you may ask, am I sharing this? Well......I decided to go for an early morning walk today, ya know to clear my head, commune with nature and all that good stuff. It's a beautiful day out, the sun just peaking up over the horizon, nice and quiet......and as I'm walking along I came across a colony? , ok a whole bunch of slugs on the sidewalk in front of someone's house. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! is all I can say......Wanted to jump up on a car! lol...but there they were...slithering their gooey lil slug bods across the sidewalk! I mean what's up with that? I thought they only came out at night (oohhh there's a song! lol). Anyway....kinda ruined my Zen like trance I was trying to obtain.....

But then again maybe I should just make "Yuck" my mantra! May work, huh?

Peace

hdf

It's happy dance friday (no exclamation points, lower case), but hdf nonetheless and i just can't let it slip by, sooo I hope y'all dance.. even if it's just one step... peace