Happy Halloween!

Wrong costume.

Trick or treat!!!!

Just leave the candy in the little bag over there......and take a bag of pretzels.....muahhahahahaha.

Peace

A Raise for P. Niss

The Day the Penis asked for a Raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:


I do physical labor.

I work at great depths.

I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

I work in a damp environment.

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,
P. Niss


The Response:

Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.

You fall asleep after brief work periods.

You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.

You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.

You will retire well before you are 65.

You are unable to work double shifts.

You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed assigned task.

And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,
V. Gina

Happy Monkey Pumpkin Monday

Continuing with the pumpkin theme...Happy Monkey Pumpkin Monday!!

Halloween is almost here. I have no candy. If I did I'd eat it. I buy little bags of pretzels in pumkin decorated little bags to give out. They're sealed and I'm sure the kids hate them! lol.....Too bad. At least they get something! And I save my waistline! ;-) if I have any left over.

Peace

Easy As A Sunday Morning

Sunday mornings are the best. I love how they feel. Everything is so quiet. I get to take my time, get the coffee going, go for a long walk, get the paper, do the crossword, read some blogs, make breakfast, take a leisurely shower, get dressed, go out, do whatever.

I noticed that the people that are "out" on Sundays are different than the ones that are "out" on Saturdays. Have you noticed this too? The Saturday people are rushed and rude but the Sunday people are easy going and sometimes even say Hi and smile. "Easy as a Sunday morning". That's why I prefer doing what I have to do on Sundays. It's easier!

What's your favorite day?

Hey, I want to thank CEO, Mike M, and Patti for their awards. I have every intention of putting them up here and passing them along. I just haven't gotten my act together to get all that together yet. But I assure you it will happen this week. I love you guys.

Peace/peace (one for yesterday, I forgot) must have been because it was Saturday and I was in a rush. ;-)

Happy Halloween!

Halloween Awakening | Funny Jokes at JibJab

Happy Dance Friday!!!

I'm going to teach the Snot dog this dance ;-), in spite of the fact that he's a little klutzy (like his mother). (and aunt).

(Have a great weekend all!)





Peace

Ut oh Cake

Why the groom is never allowed to order the Wedding Cake:

Peace

Flowers and Louis Vuitton

Desk flowers this week.

The Day the Office Smelled Like Pumpkin Spiced Coffee

Who would think to put a cup of pumpkin spiced coffee into a Louis Vuitton handbag and why????

Well, I'm not going to mention any names (Twinhead), but I was dragged 10 blocks yesterday at lunch just to get a cup of pumkin spiced coffee (not for me but for T.H.). I, like a good lil friend I am, went along for the walk. This was all after the grand premier of said bag at the office!

On the way back, we stopped to get sandwiches and salad to bring back to the office. While walking thru the farmers market by our office...T.H. stops and mumbles something, then opens her Louis Vuitton satchel bag to discover her pumpkin spice coffee is spilled and is occupying at least an inch of the bottom of her handbag! Ut oh! I tried to be sympathic, grabbing some plastic shopping bags from the farmers and helped her empty out the contents. Then wiped some dripping coffee off her jacket. Wasn't funny (hehe). Then I asked the million dollar question: "Why the f......did you put a cup of coffee in your handbag?" Actually I didn't really want to know the answer, because there isn't any logical answer to that question....(sorry T.H. ;-), but there really isn't ya know).

She spent the afternoon air drying the contents of her purse. The aroma of pumkin spice filled the air.

(Yes she will kill me for writing this story, but hey, what are friends for but to provide blog material?)

Peace

Dog Day

Five dogs we met in the park:

Five great quotes about dogs:

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. ~Ben Williams

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too. ~Samuel Butler, Notebooks, 1912

One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why. ~Author Unknown

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor. ~Margo Kaufman

Five of my favorite movies about Dogs:

Benji

Big Red

The Call of the Wild

101 Dalmations

Old Yeller

What's you favorite dog movie?

Peace

Happy Monkey Monday

Take a deep breath.....release.....

Ah....Isn't that better?

But it's still freakin Monday!

Aarrgghh!

Peace ;-)

Snot Dog

I have a dog attached to me. He never leaves my side. Yes my Snot dog is a Momma's boy. He has to have me in his vision at all times or he goes crazy. When he can't see me he hurries thru all the rooms looking for me. He won't eat unless I stand there with him. When I leave for work he gives me the most pathetic look and I'm sure he just sits by the door waiting for me to come home....sad isn't it? He's a great dog, mind you....he loves to play and run and catch balls in his little mouth and bring them back....he loves playing with the neighborhood dogs.....(the one next door humps his face. I must get a video of that.hehe). He's a great lil dog. I'm thinking of getting another one just to keep him company.....but then again, when I think that through...I may not. I wonder if a stuffed lil mutt would have the same effect? What do you think?

Should I get another dog?

Peace

Have You Ever Wondered.......

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE


Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly)



If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?



There are three religious truths: a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.



If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?



If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?



If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?



Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

(Thanks Phil)

Peace

Happy Dance Friday

Happy Dance Friday All!

Peace

Test Time

You Are

A Classic Pumpkin Face You would make a good pumpkin pie.

What's Your Pumpkin Face?

Your Monster Profile

Lethal Beast You Feast On: Pie You Lurk Around In: Shopping Malls You Especially Like to Torment: Crybabies

What's Your Monster Name?

Peace

Flowers for Me.

These are the flowers that are on my desk at work this week. I buy flowers for myself every Monday...

It makes me happy and provides the day with a little less stress. All I have to do is look at the colors of the week there in front of me and it takes my mind off a frustrating moment. They lift my spirits when I'm down. It's something I recommend for everyone. Buy yourself some flowers...bet it makes you feel better!

"Earth laughs in flowers." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Peace

Awards!!!!!!! :-)

Sweet Patti passed along this over the weekend:
"Quite simply it is those that have a generous and giving nature. Those who care about others. Those who have a kind word to say or a broad shoulder to lean on in the times that others need that. Those who display the "Spirit of Christmas". She's so sweet, loves Christmas and was even born in December!

Well, I think all my blogging buddies have a generous and giving nature and I'm glad they're in my life, if only in blogsville....so I'm going to pass this along to all of you. If you want to post it you can get the code here.


Nice Mike, suprised me with the following this past weekend.......I is hatched!!!! Sweet!

Peace

Happy Dance Monkey Monday

Since we all missed our dancing on Friday, here it is now! (Thanks M@).
Happy Monkey Monday! Enjoy your week and let's dance!

Peace

Joke Time

A man had a terrible golf problem, so he went to the club pro for some lessons.

Well, what should I do?", asked the man. "Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast."

Taking the advice, he took a swing, and POW!, he hit the ball 250 yards straight up the fairway. The ecstatic man went back home telling his wife the good news about his lesson, and, the wife couldn't wait for her lesson.

The next day, the wife went for her lesson. The pro watched her swing and said, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard." "What can I do?" asked the wife.

"Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's member."

The wife listened carefully to the pro's advice, took a swing, and, THUMP! -- the ball skipped down the fairway about 15 feet.

"You know, that was a lot better than I expected," the pro said. "Now, take

the club out of your mouth, and, hold it in your hands....."

Peace

Not Happy No Dance Friday

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!Sarge Charlie's real job.

Pre Peace Globe Day

Mimi, Queen of Memes and Peaceglobes, is doing it again! Click on the link to see how you too can get in on the biggest peace movements in the blogging world, happening on November 7 and get your own peace globe to display. Blog Blast For Peace! You know you want to!

"Sanni from Germany", pimped my globe!!! Isn't it the cutest thing you ever did see.....My heartfelt thanks to Sanni. I have no clue how to create these but with her help and creativity, she did one hell of a job. Don't you agree???? ;-) I am soooo grateful.

Peace

Funny Picture Day

Peace

Sweating and Cooking and Ghosts, Oh My!

It's Tuesday, for those of you that don't know that...But it's my Monday...aarrgghh!

Now I don't want to go on about the hot weather, but I will....we reached record high temperatures yesterday, 90 degrees! They even opened the beaches and called back the lifeguards to work... this is so bizarre. Yes you can bring my attention back to these complaints the minute I blog about the cold and the snow! But hey that's not here yet. I can take it.

I did a lot of cooking this weekend. It's something I love to do for those who don't know that. I just don't take the time for it. I made a roast pork, and a pot of chili. These are Fall foods, by the way, not foods I should be cooking in 90 degree weather, but I digress. I'm cooking more since I had my bout with food poisoning because I'm just sooo afraid to eat anything out. I know this feeling will pass but for now, I feel safer knowing where and how the food was prepared keeps my mind at ease.

Another thing that's strange in this weather is seeing all the Halloween decorations out. I took a long walk last night to look at the displays some people put out. Now I like Halloween and I like the occasional ghost and goblin or witch here and there, but some people just overdo it, in my opinion.

Peace

Ok that's enough for now....See ya tomorrow.

Happy Happy Monkey Monday

Happy Monkey Monday!

It sure is a happy a day for me and these monkeys are singing because there is no work today!

I'm off for Columbus Day and a happy one to all of you ;-) (Thank you Christopher!) I think I'll go check out all the sales today and buy myself a little something. It's still hot out here but that's ok since I have off from work! Sorry for those of you that don't have the day off. I'll be thinking of ya! ;-)

Peace

If you want to see some really gorgeous photos of nature check out Roger's Daily Idaho Photo Blog...you won't be disappointed.

Happy Sunday

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE

pEACE

Saturday Morning Blues

It is October isn't is? I do live in the northeast, don't I?
Then why the heck has it been almost 90 degrees here all week? I'm not going to the beach this weekend. I want it to be fall. I want to wear my fall clothes! I'm tired of summer ones. I put them all away! I'm tired of A/C. Woe is me! Ok..that's all for today...I have to go take a shower cause I'm sweating so much!

Peace

Happy Dance Friday (Snot Dog Family Reunion)

HAPPY DANCE FRIDAY!!!

Have a wonderful weekend and holiday (I have off Monday ;-)

Peace

Three Jokes Day

I hear there's a new disease sweeping Washington DC.

It's called "hearing aids".

You get it from listening to assholes.

(Thanks Phil)

Tee shirt I love

Very sick but funny cartoon (well, I thought it was!)

I didn't get to do my civic duty and sit on a jury. I've been dismissed already. Oh well, maybe next time I'll get to be fair and impartial. (I can be, you know!)

Peace

"The Jezebel Meme"

Mimi, Queenie of Memes, got me. (again).

The rules for The Jezebel Meme:

It's simple. Tell your favorite dance story and pass the groovy beat to five be-bopping bloggers.

I needed to exercise. I hadn't joined a gym yet when I first moved here. I needed some aerobics!

My "little" girlfriend (she's 4'11" and a dynamo to boot) suggested we go country line dancing at a place that had just opened not too far from where we lived. (Remember now, this is NYC, cowboys are just not part of the scenery and the most likely reason you may see someone wearing a cowboy hat is to cover a bald head).

But I had hope that maybe, I would be lassoed up and taken away from it all... to a nice horse ranch somewhere out west, where the buffalo roam and the skies are not cloudy all day......uh huh AND what a perfect opportunity to wear my "purple" snakeskin cowboy boots (yes I had purple cowboy boots, but I shunned the cowgirl hat and the fringed shirt btw). I'd be a cowgirl jezebel!!!!

So I put on my tightest jeans, (not good for movement) my purple boots and a purple low cut tee shirt and off we went to our first country line dance lesson.

We arrived at the "country western bar" and saw a big wooden dance floor with a railing all around. It reminded somewhat of a roller skating rink. The lights were low....I looked over to the bar area...and saw cowboy hats!!! I wonder if they spoke cowboyese. We shashayed over to the bar...me walking proudly in my purple snakeskin cowboy boots, ordered some drinks....I wondered what cowgirls drink. Do they drink? I played it safe and ordered a diet coke with lime. After all, I was here to exercise, not get drunk. (and maybe find my dream cowboy who'd take me away from it all?).

Ok...the lights blinked and turned dim....a signal for the music and dance lessons to start.

We stroll onto the dance floor and out comes Mr. Country Western Dance Instructor. Nice lil butt he had there!)

Music starts....very low. Mr. Country Western Dance Instructor (Mr. CWDI, for short)....tells us all to line up (ergo, "line dancing"?) and begins his instructions to a country western song, of course, but I just don't recall what song it was....Had a catchy lil tune tho....knee slapping, toe tapping kinda tune (oh wait, that's what it was supposed to sound like).....

Here we go: "two heel taps, two toe taps, one heel tap, one toe tap. Tap right heel forward once, tap right toe back once.......yada yada yada........

But wait..I had questions! was that two heel taps and one toe tap or one heel tap and two toe taps? Geeze....this was harder than it looked.

The line moved smoothly. I didn't. "They" all looked like they've been doing it for years. I tried to tell "them" this was my first time ;-( but they paid me no heed. They stepped right past me swung around, and did it again! Damn. What was I thinking. I knew I had no rhythm! I just knew I couldn't do this! Get me the hell out of here before I die of country line dance dysfunction! I slithered away (in my purple snakeskin cowboy boots) to the railing and just stood there....shamed and watched while the world line danced before me, in perfect cowboy rhythm.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see a little old man with a grey ponytail sticking out of his "snakeskin" cowboy hat and a short grey beard (He looked almost 80 but was in great shape and had clear blue eyes and the nicest smile I'd seen in some time). He asked me why I wasn't up there dancing with the "line". I hung my head and told him I had no rhythm. He told me anyone could do it! I had hope. He took me over to the side and showed me, slowly how to to the one toe tap, two toe tap thingy......I started to get it!!!! (I think he was Santa Clause!) He was too nice ...(not the type of sleeze one would typically find in an out of the way bar in NY). He brought me back into the line and stayed by my side while I danced!!!! I got it! I was staying in line..toe tapping, heel tapping, turning around, dosey doeing and everything!!!! My purple boots were doing their thing. I knew I bought them for a reason and this was it!

I felt like I was on top of the world. One toe tap forward, two heel taps back, .......swing around and do it again........

I did it again and again...until one of my purple snakeskin cowboy boots slid out from under me.

My legs parted in a split.......my "tight" jeans split too! All the way up my butt! I slithered away, again.

I never went back :-(

I tag: Boondoggled Deb; Open Grove Claudia; LaLa; Patti; and Reflecting Pool.

(I start jury duty today, so if I get sequestered, will one of you take care of Snot dog??, Thanks!)

Peace

When I'm Famous Meme

I lifted this meme from Amazing Gracie (http://echosofgrace.blogspot.com/). Thanks Gracie!
(I know, I know, you said not to credit you...but I did ;-)

When I am famous ...

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)
Rebel Toyota

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Vanilla Vanilla Cream (hahaha)

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)

Kwar

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Detective Purple Monkey (that doesn't sound too good, does it?)

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Bernadette Jersey City.....(yuck)

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first) Warka

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
The Green Iced Coffee

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Patrick Francis

9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Tova Chocolate Covered Cherry (omg!)

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names )
Mabel Patrick

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
Lumpkin Las Vegas

12. SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Fall Poppy

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)
Banana Flippy Flop


14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Granola Sequoia

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)
The Stain Glass Fall Tour

I tag y'all (or is that all y'alls?)

Peace

Happy Monkey Monday...

HAPPY MONKEY MONDAY......(or not). ;-)

I'm still waiting for Mondays to be Fundays....(hint, hint).

Hope your weekend was wonderful....The weather was here, wish you were beautiful.

I'm not quite over my food poisoning bout. I still have to eat really bland food and that sucks because I love, love, love hot and spicy food!!! But I did loose 10 pounds in the process! Hopefully this won't last for too much longer. On top of the food poisoning last week, I got conjuntivitis. I think I infected everyone at work. I have a feeling they're a little pissed. Ya think? I thought it was my allergies until they all ordered me to go to Medical and they confirmed that yes, indeed it was pink eye. I got some drops and it's doing a lot better now. Hopefully, real soon, I'll be able to tell y'all what good health I'm in. Until then,

Peace