A Look Back On Happy Monkey Monday

Happy Monkey New Year's Eve Monday!

Here's to you, my fellow blogging buddies. Wishing you your best year yet! I'm not one for making resolutions but there are some big things on the horizon for me this year and are bound to make life a little better. A Happy, Peaceful and Loving New Year to All!

Summary of my year on the computer:

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000.00 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a waterbuffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put, "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... Disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial anumber for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan.

I no longer have any sneakers - but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I can live a better life now because he's told us how to fix everything.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

Oh, and don't forget this one either! I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!

If you don't send this email to at least 47,000 people in the next 47 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:47 p.m. this afternoon and the fleas from 47 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next doorneighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's Cousin's beautician.

Have a wonderful day...

AND a scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their email with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late. ;-)

Peace

Studly Spud

Here's "studly" Spud in his new duds.......

Santa left under the tree.

Now this is a coat that a man should wear

Not that red hoody, said he.

Thank you Santa, you're real sweet,

For leaving me this great treat.

I can now walk with my head up high

And not look like I want to die!

All the girl dogs will look my way

As they pass me by they'll yell Hey Hey!

Look at that Spud, he's such a stud

Let's take him for a roll in the mud!

(In case you can't see the detail of the jacket....it's an army jacket with Sgt's stripes and three stars! Very, very cute. Given to the Snot dog by a really sweet friend of mine, but don't let Snot dog know there is no Santa!!!)

Peace

Happy (Slow) Dance Friday!

Happy Dance Friday!
(One of my all time favs!)


Peace

55 Flash Fiction Friday on Thursday

On Thursday

I was asleep when it happened......
I awoke suddenly...sitting straight up in my bed!
The noise came from the living room.

My heart pounding,
grabbed the baseball bat kept by the bed.
Looked down the hall.
The noise getting louder!

Lifting the bat, getting ready........
Slowly peaking around the doorway

Santa was eating cookies!!!!


Peace

The Day After.

Aarrgghh!

One thing I got for Christmas is a damn old cold. I think it was because I forgot to hang the stockings by the chimney "with care"...I kinda just threw them up there and hoped they'd stay.

Oh wait, I don't even have a chimney! Hmmm...I wonder where those stockings are???

Anyhoo...I did have a nice holiday in spite of it. Hope yours was wonderful too. My best present was a GPS system!!! (I did get jewelry and "other girlie stuff" too, which I loved equally as well but I can't wait to play with the GPS) What was your best present?

Peace

Desiderata

My all time favorite poem, and my wish to all. Hope everyone's holidays are filled with nice memories and happiness...I'm not sure if I'll be posting until after Christmas....I'm going to be at a dial up location so I may not even be able to read you guys...So have a wonderful weekend....Hope Santa makes your wildest dreams come true! ;-)

Desiderata by Max Ehrmann c.1920
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920

Peace

Happy Dance Friday

Happy Dance Almost Christmas Friday!

Peace


(See below for 55 Flash Fiction)

55 Flash Friday

(I know it's Thursday, but I'm posting this today so as not to interfere with Happy Dance Fridays)
Springtime in the park.
Eyes opened wide in alarm
as they rushed at him!
They pushed him down into the wet grass.
He screamed,
in delight.
And even though it was rough, it actually tickled.
They kept pushing.

He was rolling now, but giggling.
What could he do?

"Mom, can we keep all the puppies"?

I'm a Flake!

Lois of Lowdown from Lois, has a big heart and was kind enough to "flake" the blogosphere, for our uniqueness.

I quote from her generous offering:

"Each of us are like those snowflakes. We bring to the blogosphere different gifts, viewpoints, and experiences. Sooo......I'm dedicating this award to YOU, my fellow bloggers. Take this badge and wear it well. All I ask is that you pass it on and refer to this entry as a short award description. When you award this badge to someone, please take a moment to mention what makes him/her unique. Spread the love...There is no one more precious or unique as you!"

It would be unfair to single out certain readers that are deserving of this, when you all are. Each and every one of you that I've gotten to know over the years and very recently are precious and each one of you have touched my heart or my funny bone in so many ways....so I offer it to all of you....take it and as Lois says, pass it on. Tis the season...............

Peace

What I Need to Carry With Me Everyday Meme

I mentioned the other day that my doctor advised me to stop carrying so much to help alliviate the pressure on my spine.

Ok, I'm starting a meme called "What I Need To Carry With Me Every Day" Meme and I'm tagging everyone on my blog roll. The rules are this: Just list the items you carry with you everyday be it in a hand bag (man or woman bag), a brief case, a plastic bag...etc.

I weighed my hand bag yesterday......5 lbs (I thought it would be more).

Here's what's in it:

1)Two wallets....one long with my money, credit cards, business cards, (actually it more like a little filing cabinet). The other is small and just carries my license and registration.

2) Makeup: lipstick and blush

3) Two sets of keys

4) Comb

5) Gum

6) My blackberry

7) ID's for work...(different ones for different places I go).

8) Check books 2 (mine and Mom's)

9) Calander

10)Hand sanitizer (a must when I get off the subway)

11) Pens

12) Cough drops

13) Lose coins at the bottom.

14) Tissues

Everything one needs, every day and cannot do without. I don't know how I'll lessen the load!

:-)

I also usually carry a light leather briefcase, which I carry on my shoulder. If I don't have work files in it, I stuff it with more "essentials". My vitamins are in there. Some mail and bills, umbrella, recharging wires for phone, my book that I read on the train, the newspaper.

And I wonder why I have back problems. I'm going to try real hard to eliminate some "stuff".

So tell me, what do you carry?

Peace

It's Monkey Monday

HAPPY MONKEY MONDAY!

Where the heck did the weekend go? Did I even participate in it? Didn't want to get out of bed today. It flew by and I don't know what the heck I did. Oh I did make the beef stew yesterday and it was great!!! Afterwards, I had rice pudding. Took a nap.

I lead such an exciting life.

This may be why the Snot Dog doesn't like the snow. Ya think?

Peace

A Little Ice

The nor'easter didn't hit that badly here. We had some snow, some ice, winds. The only damage I had was the garbage can lids were across the street. The streets are slushy and it's supposed to rain all day. It's really biting cold tho, with the wind. I had to carry the wuss, Snot Dog, out to the trees because he refused to move off the porch!

I'm planning on making some beef stew later. It seems like that kind of day!

Have a relaxing Sunday!

Peace

Tiny Needles Yin Yang

Yin and Yang back together again......"....reunited and I'm feeling good......"

Needles. Tiny needles. Not pine needles, but tiny, shiney needles. Stuck in me from the bottom of my spine trailing down my leg to the top of my foot. With heat and electric stimulation! Sounds kinky, doesn't it. No, that's a story for another day. ;-) My sciatica is acting up again and acupunture is my salvation. I get immediate relief. Had a session on Wednesday and am going now for another one. My yin and yang are getting their groove on!

I've also been advised not to carry so much "stuff". I have a briefcase and a handbag that I usually "lug" back and forth to work. I'm sure if I weighed it would be close to 40 lbs. of crap.

Well, the handbag can't go. It carries all the essentials that a woman needs! Ok...so I don't carry my briefcase...therefore, I can't get work done. That sounds like a good thing!

I think a meme about what a woman carries in her handbag would be an interesting one. Maybe I'll start one next week!

Enjoy your Saturday!

Peace

55 Flash Fiction/

Two Falls


He had invested all his money.
Hi-tech stocks all the way.
After all, they still had three girls to send to college soon.
The plunge came. Bad.

What would he do now?

His wife called him at the office that day, worried.
The secretary answering "I'm sorry, he just stepped away".


And out the window.


SCROLL DOWN FOR HAPPY DANCE FRIDAY

Happy Dance Friday

Ornaments Alive | Funny Jokes at JibJab

Peace

Cartoon Time ;-)

Busy day today...this is all I got...Enjoy and have fun, in spite of it all.......

There's supposed to be a snow storm later, not a lot here, but up to 10 inches northwest of here. I just hope I don't get caught in it driving home...;-(

peace

I Know What I Meant.

I knew what I meant when I said it. I resented being asked again, that confused looked on his face. All I wanted was a glass of ice. Why was he looking at me that way? I told him twice now, the second time a little louder. What was so hard about getting ice?

Turns out that what I really said, was "Get me a cup of glass".......

Yes, it sounds funny and I'm laughing about it...but on the other hand it really scarred me.

You know why. Every time I forget something or say a silly word in place of another, I think ..ok...I'm getting it....It just scares me because of my Mom with her Alzheimers. I can't help it.

Peace

Da Night Before Christmas

I've been told by some that I have a New Yawk accent. (Yeah I think I do too....lol...so when I saw (sore) the following I thought it would be appropriate ta share wit all youse.

A BROOKLYN NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

(Read this with a thick Brooklyn Italian accent)

'Twas the night before Christmas,

Da whole house was mella,

Not a creature was stirrin',

Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla.

When up on da roof I heard somethin' pound,

I sprung to da window,

To scream, "

YO! Keep it down!"

When what to my wanderin' eyes should appear,

But da Don of all elfs,

And eight friggin' reindeer!

Wit' slicked back black hair,

And a silk red suit,

Don Christopher wuz here,

And he brought da loot!

Wit' a slap to dare snouts,

And a yank on dare manes,

He cursed and he shouted,

And he called dem by name.

"Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,Yo Vinny, Yo Vito,

Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!"

As I drew out my gun

And hid by da bed,

He flew troo da winda

And slapped me 'side da head.

"What da hell you doin'

Pullin' a gun on da Don?

Now all you're gettin' is coal,

You friggin' moron!"

Den pointin' a fat finga

Right unda my nose,

He twisted his pinky ring,

And up da chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh,

Obscenities screamin',

Away dey all flew,

Before he troo dem a beatin'.

Den I heard him yell out,

What I did least expect,

"Merry Friggin' Christmas to all,

And yous better show some respect!"

Peace

Monkey Monday

HAPPY MONKEY MONDAY!

Christmas is coming and I've got to hurry

and finish my shopping and avoid the flurry,

of last minute shoppers.

I finally got into the spirit this weekend.....(not the spirits, mind you, but the Christmas spirit. I was even listening to Christmas music all weekend. I hope this mood stays with me. I have a tendency to get a little depressed over the holidays. But I'm going to keep smiling and singing, (like Mom ;-) and put one foot in front of the other and keep on trucking!!! I have a few more presents to get.

Have a wonderful week, in spite of it all!

Peace

Test Time

Your Christmas Song Is

Jingle Bell Rock Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time Dancin' and prancin' in Jingle Bell Square In the frosty air For you, the holidays are one big party And you always end up having a little too much eggnog!

What Christmas Carol Are You?

You Are a White Christmas Tree

You like to fill your holidays with beautiful designs and classy decorations. When it comes to Christmas, you always expect (and provide) the best.

What Christmas Tree Are You?

Your Christmas is Most Like: A Charlie Brown Christmas

Each year, you really get into the spirit of Christmas. Which is much more important to you than nifty presents.

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

Peace

Snot Dog

Here's the Snot Dog (Spud) in his new Christmas hoody. Staring off into the sunset, dreaming of Mini. (sunset picture is compliments from my friend, the "Bad One" who recently moved to Arizona and has this view every evening!).

Spud met Mini on the Cyber Kitty Cruise sponsored Auntie Bee....She was kind enough to let the two pooches come along. Spud gambled and drank and from what I've learned, I think he may have had his way with Miss Mini!!! I'm wondering why Sarge Charlie wasn't a better chaperone. Be that as it may, Spud is pining for Mini all day, every day. I'm hoping she writes soon or maybe a call. I wonder if she has a webcam!!! Hehe.

Peace

55 Flash Fiction Friday

"I'm the Nice Stranger"

She's forgotten her life.

She sits now and smiles.

Sings too.

Doesn't know to who or why.

She even knows my name.

Asks me the same questions,

over and over again.

It's ok though. I answer over and over again.

She's my child now, as I was hers.

Mom has Alzheimers.

Peace

SCROLL DOWN FOR HAPPY DANCE FRIDAY

Happy Dance Friday

HAPPY DANCE FRIDAY!!!!!



Peace

The Post About Nothing

Oh man, I didn't want to get out of bed this morning.

It's cold out. Want to stay under the warm covers and sleep late. Can't tho.Must take the lil Snot dog out, however embarrassed that he is to wear the new red hoodie I bought him to keep him warm in the snow.

Got to get coffee in me first...ah...yes. While looking in the fridge I think I noticed something moving in there. I just sneezed 7 times in a row. Is that good luck?I have nothing to wear. Should I go to work naked?

Wasn't going to blog today. But as you can see I did. Duh.

My alarm is one of the sound machines that make nature noises...I have mine set to waves hitting the shore line, with birds yapping in the background. I like to wake up slowly. Don't like loud alarms. However, when the alarm goes off and Snot dog hears the birds, he starts barking!

I chew gum in the morning, is that so bad?

The moon is still out when I walk the dog....I hate the darkness of winter, altho I have nothing against the moon, or the man in it.

I'm in a hurry today. That's why I can't blog. Oh wait, I just did didn't I? Duh (again).

Have a nice day.

Bye

Peace

Joke Day

How times have changed!!!!!

Peace

Where I'm From

I am from trees growing out of concrete, from bottled milk deliveries, black and white TV and Irish stew. I am from the rail road room three story house, noisy, neighborly, with summer breezes blowing through the screens tossing the curtains over my face, cooling the house.
I am from the tomato plants, rose bushes and swing sets in the back yard, the small patch of grass, cool under my feet.
I am from large Sunday dinners, pranksters and beer drinkers, from the Irish with thier brogues and the Germans with their beer.
I am from those who don't know how to stop talking, laughing, crying and praying.
From the fear of the bogey man in the closet and Daddy's bedtime stories and brothers who made me eat worms.
I am from a variety of religions, yet, calling none of them my own. My spirit is one with nature.
I'm from the northeast, corned beef, sauerbraten and lasagna.
From the the mailman and the waitress who fell in love quickly and loved to dance and laugh, the grandmother who bought me nice clothes, the father with curly hair, the other grandmother who disliked Mom because she was Republican!
I am from the black and white wedding picture that now hangs on the wall of my mom's nursing home room, the urn of ashes on the fire place, the songs that still ring loud in my heart. The memories are what I have, some bad, but mostly good as I see their smiling faces in my mind and still feel their love in my heart. That's what keeps them alive, the memories.

Peace

HAPPY MONKEY MONDAY

HAPPY MONKEY MONDAY Y'ALL!

I played the carols and we sang

Monkey and me and all the gang!

We had a wild weekend, monkey and me

We even hung monkey balls on the tree!

(yes, I am losing my mind)

pEACE

My Blog has Balls

Roger is mad at me. I've rejected his balls. Well some of them. I finally was satisfied with one or two or three. What is Roger doing with five balls you may ask...Well he's got a lot more than that...As a matter of fact I'd say Roger has lot of balls. He's been designing holiday balls for his blogging budiies. He should be proud of them too.

Thanks Sweet Roger for designing my Holiday Peace/Monkey Balls. ;-) (Seen on side bar.)

Peace

Saturday

Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'So she got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch.....

Peace

Pure Heaven Flash Fiction

Pure Heaven


It was nine inches long!
I could hardly get my mouth around it, much less swallow it.
It was plumped up, hot, sizzling, mouth watering!
I had to have it though.
Licking my lips, my mouth surrounded it, as if it belonged there.
I bit into it!

Boy, that was a great hot dog!


SCROLL DOWN FOR HAPPY DANCE FRIDAY

pEACE

HAPPY DANCE FRIDAY!

Happy Dance Friday and have a wonderful weekend ;-)

Peace

Variety

Fixing My Life In 5 Easy Courses

I have been tagged byJeff to do the following meme. Thank you Jeff ;-0

The rules are as follows:

Devise a list of 5-10 courses you would take to fix your life. (If only it were that simple!)

It's more fun to be in classes with friends, so include one class from the person who tagged you that you'd also like to take. Tag five other people.

Ok, here's mine:

1) HOW TO GET OUT OF BED RUNNING

I'm the type of person that needs lots of time to awaken. I get up almost two hours before I must leave for work in the morning (yeah I know I'm nuts). I have my coffee, read and post some blogs, walk my little snot dog, come back and do a little meditation or some yoga, and then I'm ready to face the world! In other words, I'm slow getting started!

2) SMILE YOU DUMB BASTARDS, LIFE IS NOT THAT SERIOUS

I work in a a rather conservative department in my organization. Everyone is always soooo serious! A great majority of them are real ass kissers too. And then there's me. I try so very hard to bring a little humor in the rather serious kinds of situations we deal with, and most of the time all I get are those "looks", as if I'm an alien. In a way, I am. So I'd like to take this course to them.

3) HOW TO CREATE GREEN VEGETABLES THAT TASTE LIKE CHOCOLATE

In spite of the fact that I try really hard to eat right, when all is said and done, I'm a real junk food addict! It's not that I don't like vegetables, I do! But they're just not something I sit and crave when I'm thinking about what to eat!

4) KNIFE THROWING (with Jeff) (this will help him with his fear of balloons).

I'm not crazy! Hear me out on this. Jeff will stand in front of a large wall, his body outlined with multi-colored balloons. I will throw knives at the balloons, making every effort to miss Jeff and pop the balloons! Jeff will be so thankful that I popped the balloons and not him, he will go away worshipping balloons, instead of fearing them! Will also help me with my coordination, cause I can be such the klutz.

5)ACTING/SINGING/PIANO LESSONS

I was destined to become a rock star, (if only in my mind), in spite of the fact that I send people away screaming when I sing (and not in a good way), I can't read music and can only play "Oh Susanna" on the piano.But it's been my dream to be able to do all those things.

6) I'd have to join Jeff in his FOOT IN MOUTH REMOVAL course....especially needed at work, while I'm trying my hardest to get them to smile!

I'm sure there's many, many more courses I could take but I'll leave it at these to begin with. I'm going to tag: Boondoggled (Deb); Michael C.; Open Grove Claudia; Reflecting Pool; and Buffalo Dick. :-)

Peace

PJ' Time

PJ Time

The Crankster and The CEO passsed the PJ Award along to me and this is what they said:

Crankster, being a prankster thought my pajamas might look like this: " Odat's pajamas are warm, fuzzy, and embracing. They're multi-layered, made out of flannel, and perfect for curling up with a cup of hot chocolate. They come in warm, friendly colors and are embroidered with monkies. " Aww ain't that cute...I like to think of myself as warm and fuzzy, but with a little bit of glitz or some cleavage showing...lol.

I found these monkey pj's on the web...i just may order them! ;-) hehe.
And The CEO who is just so very sweet (or on drugs, hehe) said this: "So I am nominating the really classy blogs............Odat, puts out high quality, wonderful material seven days a week. Odat is a staple of mental health. Remember this when the Bloggie Nominations come around, please." (mental health??????????????????) oh well....I'll take it where I can get it!

These are two blogs that I've been reading probably since I started to blog. Both are well written and have a lot to offer the world. I thank them both for being part of my blog experience and for being good friends!

So......with warm and fuzzy feelings I'm passing this award along to Patti and Miss Bee, both of whom have become warm and fuzzy friends; and to Matt-Man whose robe is a sight for sore eyes and his blog always gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling ;-0

Peace

Happy Monkey Monday

HAPPY MONKEY MONDAY!!

(Roger, of Idaho Daily Photos was so sweet to make this picture for me. Go visit his picture blog, he's so talented with his photos!)

It's going to be tough getting back into the swing (pun intended) of things, after being off for a week from work. So in order to start off our Monday with a smile here's little joke to keep ya laughing:

Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" &"My Life" by Bill Clinton.

One student turned in the following book report,with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic:.... cost - $29.99

Clinton :..... cost - $29.99

Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read

Clinton :..... Over 3 hours to read

Titanic:.... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, andsubsequent catastrophe.

Clinton :..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, andsubsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.

Clinton :..... Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic:.... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.

Clinton :..... Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:..... During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.

Clinton :..... Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.

Clinton :..... Let's not go there.

Titanic:...... Rose gets to keep her jewelry

Clinton :.... Monica' s forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.

Clinton :..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic:...... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.

Clinton :..... Monica....ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.

Clinton :..... Bill goes home to Hilary - basically the same thing.

Peace
__________________________________________________

Crazy recipe

Small rant:
Had to go back and forth to Motor Vehcles five times this week before they got it right!!!! I flipped out the last time I went and asked for a supervisor. Turns out the clerk was inputting the information the wrong way into the computer. It blew my brain circuits while I was there. I felt like I was in a Sienfeld episode! She just couldn't give me a logical explanation as to why all the information she was asking for was needed. All I got was "that's the way it's done"! Well, noooo it isn't, as she found out when her supervisor went over to her and showed her! Damn stupid people! Ok done.








I lifted this from Crazy Working Mom. Thought is was cute.


What's your recipe???

Kathleen - 1/4 cup of trustworthiness - a pound of humor - a gallon of crazy Boil together and serve.

'What is your personality recipe?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Peace

Happy Dance Friday and Flash Friday Fiction in 55 Words

Happy Dance Friday.....I'm unable to post a video this week...so I'm conceding to Sarge Charlie as the winner! ;-) He always does a warm up for my Happy Dance. Go see his! Funny stuff.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and are enjoying a relaxing day today...I had a wonderful one. And I didn't even overeat for a change...At least I don't have that turkey/pie/icecream/eggnog/popcorn/etc hangover today.

I'm now participating in 55 Flash Fiction Friday, set up by Mike , the originator of the Writer's Experiment (see link on my list). It tells a story in 55 words. Here's my first:

A Brother

He was on top of the world, but he couldn't see that.
He was so high, he fell off and tumbled into the depths of hell, where he stayed.
He tried a few times to climb out, but he never made it back.
Now we'll never see his smiling face again.

He drowned in alchohol.

Peace

Happy Turkey Day (Almost) ;-)

May your stuffing be tasty

May your turkey plump,

May your potatoes and gravy

Have never a lump.

May your yams be delicious

And your pies take the prize,

And may your Thanksgiving dinner

Stay off your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

(I'll probably be back on Friday or Saturday. I've not visited a lot of you in the past few days because I'm at a dial up location and time is just not on my side to wait for all the downloads.)

Peace

Pet Stuff

To all Pet Owners

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats:The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. Theother dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a pawprint in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim forit becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1 They live here. You don't.

2. If you don' t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'nature.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less

2. Don't ask for money all the time

3. Are easier to train

4. Normally come when called

5. Never ask to drive the car

6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends

7. Don't smoke or drink

8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions

9. Don't want to wear your clothes

10. Don't need a 'gazillion' dollars for college.

And finally,

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

Gratitude List:

1) Animals

2) Babies, cause they make me smile.

3) Moms

4) Dads

5) Grammas

Peace