Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Random Things....

I'm getting excited....look at my countdown over there...8 more days until my VACATION!!!!!!! I'm also getting sad because I have to leave lil old Snotdog and his Bro, Tank the Terror, home. I'm not worried about anything else cept for that....

I just can't wait. It's been a long time since I traveled outside the country. I'm not sure if I'll blog from there. I'm not bringing my laptop to Greece but I understand there are lots of Internet Cafe's there.

I'm only bringing one suitcase. Do you know how hard that is? I'm going to do it!!

So it's a week before my vacation and I get an abscessed tooth. The dentist tried to save it but I had to get it pulled yesterday. ( I don't want any teeth problems overseas. ) Oh, last night I made escarole and beans and as I was eating the phone rang. Now with my tooth being pulled and my mouth a little numb I said I just sat down to eat my escarole and beans and the person on the other end of the phone thought I said "eskimo" and beans....lmao.


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Monday, October 19, 2009

Laugh Day

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied! ,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started...


I asked my wife,
'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!'
she said.
So I suggested,
'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started...


My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said,
'Do you want to have sex?'
she answered.
I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying
So I said,
'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started...


I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first…
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said,
'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight started...


My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
She asked,
'What's on TV?'
I said,
And then the fight started...


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said,
'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale..
And then the fight started...


My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her,
'Do you know him?'
she sighed,
‘He’s my old boyfriend... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!'
I said,
'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...


I rear-ended a car this morning.... So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
So, I looked down at him and said,
'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started...


When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf… Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors… I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
I said,
'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Goodbye Warm..........

I was still wearing flipflops last weekend, had the A/C on. I just heard on the news that we're expecting a Nor'easter over the weekend with a possible chance of snow!!! Geeze, Louise!

That's all folks.....


Monday, October 12, 2009

I Am Here......

I've walked through a new land called Grief.......
I've been here for a while now.....
When I got here the darkness was totally consuming....
Scary, as if I'd never be able to breath again or get out of this place.
But I kept on walking and
a little light began to shine through, and some air.

I took some breaths and walked slowly, resting at some places.
Not a good rest, but a paralyzing rest.
I had to be rescued or I would have stayed there.
This was a new land and I didn't have a map.

But others did.

And they guided me. And supported me. And held my hand.

The road was bumpy but it lead me in the right direction.
Towards bright tomorrows. They were a long time coming.
I got here! I'm going to be alright.
Changed by the experience, but alright.

There is no end to this, no completion, just acceptance.


Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Random thoughts from people our age…

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to
be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like
check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to
yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to
finish a text.

- Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in'
examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete
idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and
said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring
would probably just be completely invisible.

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.

--The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw
they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,
someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think
about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people
eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by
myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard
before dinner.


Monday, October 05, 2009

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Happy Dance

Since I've retired, every day is Happy Dance Friday....enjoy!