Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Monday, July 31, 2006

Feet Stuff

How Smart Is Your Right Foot?

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keeptrying it at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart yourfoot.But you can't!!!1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floorand make clockwise circles with it.2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction!!!I told you so... And there is nothing you can do about it.

Hot Hot Too Hot



"Where the sun beats and the dead trees give no shelter, the cricket no relief"..(T.S. Elliot).

Supposed to reach over 100 today, tomorrow and Wednesday!
What's going on????? Is it the end of the world as we know it? I don't ever remember it being this hot, ever!!! (or as long as I have memory). And that's just a blink of an eye for all intents and purposes. Well I hate getting dressed to go to work on days like these. There should be a law against it. I should be on the beach, in the water. Hate to carry on about that but that's where I'd rather be. So there!

Sunday, July 30, 2006

This MUST be wrong!!!

You Are 10% Weird
You're totally, completely normal.And that's pretty darn weird!
How Weird Are You?


What Your Face Says
At first glance, people see you as driven and ambitious.
Overall, your true self is passive and thoughtful.
With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react.
In love, you seem like a huge flirt.
In stressful situations, you seem sad and helpless.
What Do People Think Of Your Face?


You're an Passionate Kisser
For you, kissing is about all about following your urgesIf someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of storyYou can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kissesA total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble
What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Ok, ready?


It was a hot and sultry weekend. The air not moving, humidity high. Was the type of day where I just wanted to sit by some water and find some ocean breezes. That was not to be tho. So I had to settle for sitting out in the back with my sprinklers on, washing over my body in little spurts. Cold water too! I have to give credit to my gardener Marco....he always shows up.....rain, shine, hot, cold. And there he was the other day, in my garden, wearing next to nothing too. I watched him from my lounge chair as he bent over snipping the rose bushes, pulling out those unsightly weeds, his muscles moving and contorting as he reached up and down, squatting now and then. He's look over and smiled...I tell him what a marvelous job he's doing.....He thanks me. You see, I hired Marco as my gardener a few years back. He caught my eye at the Nursery where i buy my plants. 6 foot, blue eyes, black hair and a body to kill for. After I got over the initial flush and calmed down, I asked him if he was for hire. He gave me a big smile, flashing his white teeth, and said, "what did you want to hire me for." Well this made me blush, since I was thinking what he implying! After a bit of stuttering I managed to blurt out, "landscaping of course." He gave me another big smile and said, "I'm your man"! Well that was over 3 years ago, and I have been very, very happy with his services. Altho, I am a little suspicious of the fact that he, on occasions, watches movies with my friend "D". (am wondering what's up with that!)

Friday, July 28, 2006

Just Window Shopping

Went shopping at lunch and saw a blind man in the department store -- who proceeded to take his dog by the tail and swung him around in a circle. One of the clerks rushed up to him: "Can I help you, sir?""Oh, no thank you. I am just taking a look around."


It's H A P P Y D A N C E F R I D A Y!

Thursday, July 27, 2006


***You Are Smokin' Hot*** (One more quiz....sorry! LOL)
You're a terrible flirt, a sharp dresser, and a party animal.Of course, you're totally sizzling too. And for you, being hot just comes naturally.
Are You Hot?

Where's my mind?????????????

My mind is kinda blank today....I must find that aluminum beanie again to draw the creative juices into my brain..........In the meantime, I'm looking forward to Happy Dance Friday (altho I've been practicing robotic type dancing while sitting down) (my ankle, remember?).

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Cabbing It Pt III

Yes, I'm still cabbing it...(my ankle, remember?) I'm really not beating this one to death because I just found out that I really did fracture it! Soooo here we go.....slow recuperation, slow walking, slow living......etc..(slow is good in some cases tho i might add) ...(I 'm really rather depressed by the whole thing by the way) Anyway I digress......the cab: got one right away going home. Hop in the back and smell food!! Smells good too! I told the cabbie that I could smell his food...and he thought I was offended by it...(i guess my delivery was not to his ethnicity, lol) I had to explain to him that NO NO NO I mean it smells nice...i like the smell....(meanwhile going hysterical inside). He apoligized and told me he hadn't eaten all day so he just had to get something...and when he finally figured it out that I was not offended by the aroma, he offered to stop and get me one (he had s shish kaboobie thingy)...I thanked him and declined graciously.

Quote of the day: "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I hate sex in the movies.
Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

From Silly to Insane

I'm in a particularly silly mood I tuned into a radio station that I normally don't listen to and thought that the dialogue was hilarious today....belly laughed all the way to the train station. I'm not telling what they were making fun of...because then you'll think I'm really evil!

Then I got to work.....geeze.....can't be silly least for the most part...there's only certain people who actually "get" what I'm saying ....I mean all the inuendos that come out of my mouth may offend lots of people....(even tho I think I'm pretty funny)..........I do have to watch myself...(I sit here and snicker....he he he).

Monday, July 24, 2006

Welcome Monday (NOT)

No Happy Dance for Mondays....After all I'm at work, mind you, NOT on a beach, NOT out sailing the ocean, NOT laying by poolside while my pool boy eagerly serves up drinks with lil umbrellas with a smile on his face, a song in his heart and errr.....oh nevermind! LOL.......

It's a picture perfect day for doing all of the above, yet here I sit, at my puter while my mind drifts and yearns.....for my paradise......for sun and water on my body .............the smell of coconut lotion....the seagulls honking overhead.......the salty spray of the waves washing over I dig an impression into the sand.......and settle there..........exhaling..........

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Ice Cream Scary

Ok...Laugh's got me on the quiz thing again.....Here's my results of the "What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?" quiz...and ya know something, coffee ice cream is one of my favs!

***You Are Coffee Ice Cream***
Energetic and lively, you are always on the go.You're doing a million things at once and doing them well.You tend to motivate others and raise spirits.
You are most compatible with chocolate ice cream.
What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

While I was there I took the "How Scary Are You?" quiz I love these things....

***You Are a Little Scary***
You've got a nice edge to you. Use it.

(I don't undersand this one, since I took the "evil" test and got the "evilest score"...Can one be very evil and just a little scary????????) Hmmm?

How Scary Are You?


I have a dog with a smushed in nose.....(yes he was born that way).... and when I take him for a walk he has tendency to make all sorts of snorting noises...(he's soo embarrassing, lol)....But I'm getting a little tired of people coming up to me and commenting about it....."He sounds like he's out of breath" (no he just breaths that way!)..."Does he have a cold?" (no he just breaths that way!)....."How OLD is HE?" (only 5)......"What's the matter with HIM?" (nothing)....."You should give him some water" (and you should shut the fuck up!).... Oh well...i guess he's just that type of pup only a mother could love......! HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Morning After

Opps ..I forgot to do the Happy Dance Friday!!! Well Happy Dance Saturday instead! (still can't fully do the dance tho, remember my ankel? lol)..

Spent last night ducking rain, hail, thunder lightening....(not really ducking , acutally getting soaked (remember my ankle?)- can't move too fast. Had to hop on over to the mall, just because.

Well the beach is out today...cloudy, rainy day. Usually makes my mood cloudy too. But not today! I'm in a particurly good mood today and that's a good thing!!!!!


Friday, July 21, 2006

Oh My

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back...
or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
"I think I like playing with men's balls."
My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day,
my sister has never let me forget.
While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
"right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped
what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when
the door closed behind me,
were screams of laughter.
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco,
I smelled something funny, so of course I checked
my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
Then realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".
I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an
accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time,
"Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down
An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Now, didn't that feel good?
Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh
and remember
we all say things we don't really mean,
so think before you speak

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Cabbing It Pt.II

I climb up out of the train station……step off the curb…getting into the “Hail the cab” stance ..arm outstretched….waving down every cab that passes me by………when…this asshole steps in front of me….ignoring me….and starts hailing….geeze, I think: this is no different than pushing and shoving on a train…yet more subtle……I walk over and stand in front of her!!!!! That’ll teach her. Hmmmm…..I’m also thinking that I can’t afford to get into a cab fight..(ya know my ankle?) , but I do it anyway. In the meantime a lil old later steps on the scene…(where’d she come from?) and starts hailing…….a cab finally stops….and the lil old lady said I could have the cab!!!! Awww it broke my heart…..(but didn’t stop me from taking the cab , he he he)……What????? I’m disabled!!!

This cabbie had my favorite FM station on the radio…Q104.3!!! Yeah! First time I got into a cab that played my kind of music…..So I thanked him when I got out….He told me he was a musician….and I think he wanted to talk more about it…but I just didn’t have the time….when I stepped out of the cab, I was a lil startled because there was a man standing right there!!!! In my face!!! And gorgeous, to boot! He smiled. I smiled. I looked directly into his eyes…as if saying I’ll stay in the cab and take a ride with you ok? (oh well….back to reality!) bye bye blue eyes!!!!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Cabbing it!

Ya know there's a blog called the New York Hack that I read. It's all about a female cab driver's experiences on the road in NYC. Well....since I hurt my ankle, I've been cabbing it back and forth to the train and my office each day. I'd like to share the other side of the New York Hack experience, sitting in the back...

Day One....Hailed a cab....(actually you can get killed hailing a cab in NY in the morning as much as you can get killed by someone driving one). Tell the driver where I want to go. Mind you, this is one of the hottest days on record in NY. So...I small talk..saying's gonna be a hot one today (why is it that weather is what one always talks about)...why can't people feel comfortable saying something like" Geeze you're good looking!!!" or "Gawd that's an ugly shirt your wearing...." but anyway...the cabbie just grunts at me and says yeah....of course I don't leave it alone and ask..How's the a/c work in here? Is it going to keep you cool all day long??? He says..probably not.....I see he's doing paper work while we're driving! hmmm.....No wonder why he doesn't want to talk...he's writing, driving, listening to some god awful station on the radio, guess he can't do all these things AND talk to his passengers all at the same time....I mean..really!

On the way home....Since I get to leave early (my leg, remember?) I don't have too much trouble in the hailing of the cab. The cab pulls over.....and signals with his hands as if asking if I'm going in a certain direction...I told him yes i'm going south...he waves me if i'm not mistaken....I don't think he can turn down a passenger.....but anyway....that's a story for another I get in and of course I say something about it being really hot outside and ask him if he's staying cool....he just puts on a great big smile...and nods his head....I ask if he's been drinking lots of water today? He just smiles...nods his head. After my third attempt at questioning...I've come to the realization that he has absolutely no idea what I'm saying...he doesn't speak English....I guess they go to taxi school to understand the names and numbers of streets????????

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Evil Lil Me

Ok...So I'm 52 percent evil.....(Go to Boondoggle's blog and take the test). So now I have an excuse for posting dark and evil deeds I've done....he he he!!!!!!

Monday, July 17, 2006

I Will Survive...remix
Sing to the Tune "I will Survive"

At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches,Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong,and I knew that I could take you on....

But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a big mac and you've bought me a French fry!
I should have known that it was bullshit, just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those baggy jeans!
Go on now go walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches,then turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't catch you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn'tcount?!

I will survive!'
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life is gonna thrive!
I will survive!I will survive!. . .
Hey! Hey!

[Verse II]
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little wiener standing tall and proud!
But to hell with all your egos and to hell with all your needs
Now I'm saving all my lovin'for a cordless multispeed!

I will survive!'
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life is gonna thrive!
I will survive!I will survive!. . .


Ok...back at work today after being off for a week...(not with fun stuff) Remember? My ankle? Just my luck to return on the hottest day of the year! My gratitude list for today will include air conditioning. (At least I can come in late and leave early (per my Medical Department) which is least I don't have to deal with rush hour. I can't rush ya I'm sitting here with my ankle up on a chair....(good thing I don't have a skirt on) I'll have to remember that for the rest of week while picking out my wardrobe.

Have a great day...Be back later when my brain turns on.

Friday, July 14, 2006

keeping it up

Not doing the Happy Dance Friday this week...Can't dance....;-( Can hardly walk....
There's good and bad here...I spent the week home and out of work (yeah) but was of course bored because I couldn't do anything except keep my foot up. Now there's a lot to write about! I put it up on the edge of the bed once...then I laid on the couch and put it up there! Sat at the kitchen table and put it up on the other chair (tsk, tsk). Sat at my computer desk and put a lil hassock under it so I could put it up there! Was a lil difficult taking a shower, so I took a bath so i put it up there! (mmmm, there's one place I didn't put it...and that will be a story for another forum) LMAO......Have a great day!!!!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


Humor is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them.
Lewis Mumford (1895 - 1990)

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Peter Ustinov (1921 - 2004)

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
T. S. Eliot (1888 - 1965)

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)

I deal with my life's situations with humor. If I didn't I'd most likely be in a rubber room somewhere by now. If I can't laugh about something I'm in trouble. Mind you, I do take some things seriously...but at my age I can afford to laugh at life and I DO!

Take for instance, I fell down the stairs on Sunday...sprained my ankle. I'm not able to work this week......I'm not able to do a lot this week.....My take on this is the confirmation that A) I'm a klutz....B) One should wake up first before taking a dog for a walk.....
It was 5Am! I didn't want to wake up because I wanted to crawl back into bed when I came in. I guess the universe had other plans. When I fell...I woke up!!!!! Every cell in my body woke up!
I recommend coffee instead......

Have a great day!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

love test

I took this test..

Here's my results.....

1. You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you feel irresistable is creative, never let you feel bored.
3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is loyal, faithful, never change.
4. You don't like it when your partner is emotional and/or too moody; and you don't know how to please him/her.
5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your partner is one that you care not only about the present but also the future with your partner, a long-lasting relationship that you can grow with.
6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything wrong after marriage.
7. You are afraid of marriage, you think it would take away your freedom.
8. At this moment, you don't want to be tied down by a steady relationship, you just want to flirt around.


There was an explosion in a town house in NYC yesterday. A doctor blew it up. They claim it was attempted suicide due to a nasty divorce and the settlement money from sale of this townhouse. The doctor typed a 23 page psuedo suicide note and emailed to some people prior to blowing up this place. He was the only one in the house at the time (at least he had a lil part of his brain working at the time). He survived, but with burns over 70 percent of his body.

I mean, I don't know the whole story behind this....but please give me a break! Here's someone who's a doctor, lives in a 5plus million dollar townhouse, has the world by the least that's what one would think wouldn't ya? and he goes a blows up the place along with himself???? Boy, am I glad I wasn't his patient.....He's the one who needed a doctor! And I thought I was having a bad day yesterday!

Monday, July 10, 2006

Hillbillies and kangeroos

I'm staying home from work today and I'll try to get to the doctor to look at my the meantime i've been reduced to reading hillbilly jokes and looking at baby kangeroo porn (don't ask) so i figured i'd share some with ya (please don't kill and Twinhead? I'm sorry I'm going to miss the unveiling of the "RING", I'll see it when I return. Have a great day! Oh and congrats to all those Italian soccor fans!!!!!! Way to go!!!!

Hillbilly Sex Quiz
Study each question carefully. Then, choose the answer that seems most correct (True or False) and circle the T or F as appropriate.
1. A clitoris is a type of flower. T F
2. Pubic hair is a wild rabbit. T F
3. "Spread Eagle" is an extinct bird. T F
4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe heart trouble. T F
5. Menstrual cycle has three (3) wheels. T F
6. A G-string is part of a violin. T F
7. Semen is another word for "sailor". T F
8. Anus is the Latin word for "yearly". T F
9. Testicles are found on an octopus. T F
10. Asphalt describes rectal troubles. T F
11. Masturbate is used to catch large fish. T F
12. KOTEX is a radio station in Bryan, Texas. T F
13. Coitus is a musical instrument. T F
14. Fetus is a character on "Gunsmoke". T F
15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute. T F
16. A condom is an apartment complex. T F
17. An organism is the person who accompanies the chior in church. T F
18. A diaphram is a drawing in geometry. T F
19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle. T F
20. An erection is when the Japanese vote for their new government officials. T F
21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East. T F
22. Sodomy is a special kind of fast-growing grass. T F
23. Pornography is the business of making record albums. T F
24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origins. T F
25. Douche is the Italian word for "twelve". T F
26. An enema is someone who is not your friend. T F
27. Ovaries are a French egg dish made with cheese. T F

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Why oh why oh why??????? Ok are you ready for this one? I'm up early....ready to go to the beach.....get the dog ready to go for a walk..step outside...and I fall down the steps..(again! I did the same thing about a month ago) DAMN....I hurt my ankle ..twisted it really bad. I cried! It hurt like hell....poor me.......I'm sitting here with ice on it now....Damn!!! Damn!!! Damn!!!!

Friday, July 07, 2006

Happy Dance Friday Again

Oh's happy dance Friday already!!!! I just sat down to post because I've been a lil busy today.....(geeze, work, it interferes with my musings here).

Well anyway, I'm in a somewhat pissy mood today because I keep getting interupted which got me thinking about a pet peeve in:

" Don't ya just hate it when":

- You're on the telephone and someone walks into your office and just starts talking?
- You receive something at work that needs to be done right now when the person had it sitting on their desks for 3 months?
- Large persons try to squeeze into the seat next to you on the subway?
- The phone rings after a certain hour?
- When you walk into spider webs at 5:30 Am?
- Mercedes Benz(es) and Jaguars think they own the rode? (it never fails).
- You get Coke instead of Pepsi?
- I have a hypenated name....and it gets me when people ask me what's a hyphen or think that "hypen" is part of my name.
- When cashier's in stores can't count your change if the cash register goes down.
- People on cell phones in public
- Reading blackberries during meetings
- Drivers who don't use their turn signals (mostly men) (and they say women can't drive!)
- Drivers who honk at you the nano second the light turns green
To be continued......
(gotta go back to work now)

Thursday, July 06, 2006

From a small American company doing business in France......;-)

Rainbows and mood swings

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
~Dolly Parton~ I'm not much of a Dolly Parton fan .....but I must give credit where credit is due being that I did like this quote....

Ya know I've gone thru menopause. I know that's a shock but yes I have. And I just don't understand something. Everything I read about it is bad. I mean they talk about the hot flashes, the night sweats, the mood swings, the weight gain, the decreased sex drive, the dimishment of calcium in the bones....yada yada yada........and yes, I've gone thru some of them....but all in all this is the best period of my life. I've crossed a threshhold, I suppose, and it doesn't matter what people think about me anymore. I've come into my own so to speak where I have a say about what direction my life is going and there's no holding me back. I believe that menopause has brought me to this moment. I did experience severe mood swings and went into a mild depression at first.... altho life itself was spireling down around me at the same time which didn't help. I left my husband, changed jobs, lost weight, dyed my hair, bought a new car.....just like going thru puberty in reverse lol.........yes I do get hot flashes (right at the most inopportune time) I get night sweats...(they don't bother me)......I exercise so i hope my bone loss is kept to a minimum....I've lost weight.....and my sex drive has actually risen!!!!!!! So all in all this menopause thing has not lived up to it's reputation and I'm sure glad it hasn't. Have a great day!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006


Well...I got to sleep at a decent hour last fireworks til the wee hours of the morning like last year.....woke up refreshed and ready to go! Got my coffee and got the dog ready to go out for a walk.....opened the gate outside and walked right into a giant spider web....yup..right in my face...........ewwwwwwwwwwwww!!! I hate when that looked like a fool trying to brush the god awful thing out of my hair...and I'm poking and waving all over my body just in case that giant spider is crawling around somewhere. Mind you , I'm not afraid of spiders, I try not to kill them either (they're good for the garden, they eat other bugs) .....but when they invade my space (meaning my hair and body) they better watch their lil asses! Oh well...time to get to work.....HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Ok...I just had five days off from work......was wonderful......went to see some old friends ..nice; went shopping at the outlets..costly;
Went to a bbq...ate loads.;.......went to the beach one day for a few hours...very hot; now I am dreading tonight...although I love fireworks and probably will be able to view them too....I want to get to sleep at a decent hour! But I know the boom boom booms will be going off till all hours of the morning..........(I should have taken tomorrow off too!)

Happy Fourth!

Saturday, July 01, 2006