Tuesday, October 30, 2007
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
The Day the Office Smelled Like Pumpkin Spiced Coffee
Who would think to put a cup of pumpkin spiced coffee into a Louis Vuitton handbag and why????
Well, I'm not going to mention any names (Twinhead), but I was dragged 10 blocks yesterday at lunch just to get a cup of pumkin spiced coffee (not for me but for T.H.). I, like a good lil friend I am, went along for the walk. This was all after the grand premier of said bag at the office!
On the way back, we stopped to get sandwiches and salad to bring back to the office. While walking thru the farmers market by our office...T.H. stops and mumbles something, then opens her Louis Vuitton satchel bag to discover her pumpkin spice coffee is spilled and is occupying at least an inch of the bottom of her handbag! Ut oh! I tried to be sympathic, grabbing some plastic shopping bags from the farmers and helped her empty out the contents. Then wiped some dripping coffee off her jacket. Wasn't funny (hehe). Then I asked the million dollar question: "Why the f......did you put a cup of coffee in your handbag?" Actually I didn't really want to know the answer, because there isn't any logical answer to that question....(sorry T.H. ;-), but there really isn't ya know).
She spent the afternoon air drying the contents of her purse. The aroma of pumkin spice filled the air.
(Yes she will kill me for writing this story, but hey, what are friends for but to provide blog material?)
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Should I get another dog?
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly)
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
There are three religious truths: a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
These are the flowers that are on my desk at work this week. I buy flowers for myself every Monday...
It makes me happy and provides the day with a little less stress. All I have to do is look at the colors of the week there in front of me and it takes my mind off a frustrating moment. They lift my spirits when I'm down. It's something I recommend for everyone. Buy yourself some flowers...bet it makes you feel better!
"Earth laughs in flowers." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
"Quite simply it is those that have a generous and giving nature. Those who care about others. Those who have a kind word to say or a broad shoulder to lean on in the times that others need that. Those who display the "Spirit of Christmas". She's so sweet, loves Christmas and was even born in December!
Nice Mike, suprised me with the following this past weekend.......I is hatched!!!! Sweet!
Monday, October 15, 2007
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Mimi, Queen of Memes and Peaceglobes, is doing it again! Click on the link to see how you too can get in on the biggest peace movements in the blogging world, happening on November 7 and get your own peace globe to display. Blog Blast For Peace! You know you want to!
"Sanni from Germany", pimped my globe!!! Isn't it the cutest thing you ever did see.....My heartfelt thanks to Sanni. I have no clue how to create these but with her help and creativity, she did one hell of a job. Don't you agree???? ;-) I am soooo grateful.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Monday, October 08, 2007
If you want to see some really gorgeous photos of nature check out Roger's Daily Idaho Photo Blog...you won't be disappointed.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Then why the heck has it been almost 90 degrees here all week? I'm not going to the beach this weekend. I want it to be fall. I want to wear my fall clothes! I'm tired of summer ones. I put them all away! I'm tired of A/C. Woe is me! Ok..that's all for today...I have to go take a shower cause I'm sweating so much!
Friday, October 05, 2007
Thursday, October 04, 2007
I didn't get to do my civic duty and sit on a jury. I've been dismissed already. Oh well, maybe next time I'll get to be fair and impartial. (I can be, you know!)
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
(I start jury duty today, so if I get sequestered, will one of you take care of Snot dog??, Thanks!)
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
(I know, I know, you said not to credit you...but I did ;-)
When I am famous ...
1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)
2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Vanilla Vanilla Cream (hahaha)
3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Detective Purple Monkey (that doesn't sound too good, does it?)
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Bernadette Jersey City.....(yuck)
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first) Warka
7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
The Green Iced Coffee
8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Tova Chocolate Covered Cherry (omg!)
10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names )
11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
Lumpkin Las Vegas
12. SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)
Banana Flippy Flop
14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)
The Stain Glass Fall Tour
I tag y'all (or is that all y'alls?)