Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Monday, December 31, 2007

A Look Back On Happy Monkey Monday

Happy Monkey New Year's Eve Monday!

Here's to you, my fellow blogging buddies. Wishing you your best year yet! I'm not one for making resolutions but there are some big things on the horizon for me this year and are bound to make life a little better. A Happy, Peaceful and Loving New Year to All!

Summary of my year on the computer:

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000.00 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a waterbuffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put, "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... Disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial anumber for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan.

I no longer have any sneakers - but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I can live a better life now because he's told us how to fix everything.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

Oh, and don't forget this one either! I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!

If you don't send this email to at least 47,000 people in the next 47 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:47 p.m. this afternoon and the fleas from 47 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next doorneighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's Cousin's beautician.

Have a wonderful day...

AND a scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their email with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late. ;-)


Saturday, December 29, 2007

Studly Spud

Here's "studly" Spud in his new duds.......
Santa left under the tree.
Now this is a coat that a man should wear
Not that red hoody, said he.

Thank you Santa, you're real sweet,
For leaving me this great treat.
I can now walk with my head up high
And not look like I want to die!

All the girl dogs will look my way
As they pass me by they'll yell Hey Hey!
Look at that Spud, he's such a stud
Let's take him for a roll in the mud!

(In case you can't see the detail of the's an army jacket with Sgt's stripes and three stars! Very, very cute. Given to the Snot dog by a really sweet friend of mine, but don't let Snot dog know there is no Santa!!!)


Friday, December 28, 2007

Happy (Slow) Dance Friday!

Happy Dance Friday!
(One of my all time favs!)


Thursday, December 27, 2007

55 Flash Fiction Friday on Thursday

On Thursday
I was asleep when it happened......
I awoke suddenly...sitting straight up in my bed!
The noise came from the living room.

My heart pounding,
grabbed the baseball bat kept by the bed.
Looked down the hall.
The noise getting louder!

Lifting the bat, getting ready........
Slowly peaking around the doorway

Santa was eating cookies!!!!


Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Day After.


One thing I got for Christmas is a damn old cold. I think it was because I forgot to hang the stockings by the chimney "with care"...I kinda just threw them up there and hoped they'd stay.
Oh wait, I don't even have a chimney! Hmmm...I wonder where those stockings are???

Anyhoo...I did have a nice holiday in spite of it. Hope yours was wonderful too. My best present was a GPS system!!! (I did get jewelry and "other girlie stuff" too, which I loved equally as well but I can't wait to play with the GPS) What was your best present?


Saturday, December 22, 2007


My all time favorite poem, and my wish to all. Hope everyone's holidays are filled with nice memories and happiness...I'm not sure if I'll be posting until after Christmas....I'm going to be at a dial up location so I may not even be able to read you guys...So have a wonderful weekend....Hope Santa makes your wildest dreams come true! ;-)

Desiderata by Max Ehrmann c.1920
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920


Friday, December 21, 2007

Happy Dance Friday

Happy Dance Almost Christmas Friday!


(See below for 55 Flash Fiction)

Thursday, December 20, 2007

55 Flash Friday

(I know it's Thursday, but I'm posting this today so as not to interfere with Happy Dance Fridays)
Springtime in the park.
Eyes opened wide in alarm
as they rushed at him!
They pushed him down into the wet grass.
He screamed,
in delight.
And even though it was rough, it actually tickled.
They kept pushing.

He was rolling now, but giggling.
What could he do?

"Mom, can we keep all the puppies"?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I'm a Flake!

Lois of Lowdown from Lois, has a big heart and was kind enough to "flake" the blogosphere, for our uniqueness.

I quote from her generous offering:

"Each of us are like those snowflakes. We bring to the blogosphere different gifts, viewpoints, and experiences. Sooo......I'm dedicating this award to YOU, my fellow bloggers. Take this badge and wear it well. All I ask is that you pass it on and refer to this entry as a short award description. When you award this badge to someone, please take a moment to mention what makes him/her unique. Spread the love...There is no one more precious or unique as you!"

It would be unfair to single out certain readers that are deserving of this, when you all are. Each and every one of you that I've gotten to know over the years and very recently are precious and each one of you have touched my heart or my funny bone in so many I offer it to all of you....take it and as Lois says, pass it on. Tis the season...............


Tuesday, December 18, 2007

What I Need to Carry With Me Everyday Meme

I mentioned the other day that my doctor advised me to stop carrying so much to help alliviate the pressure on my spine.

Ok, I'm starting a meme called "What I Need To Carry With Me Every Day" Meme and I'm tagging everyone on my blog roll. The rules are this: Just list the items you carry with you everyday be it in a hand bag (man or woman bag), a brief case, a plastic bag...etc.

I weighed my hand bag yesterday......5 lbs (I thought it would be more).

Here's what's in it:

1)Two long with my money, credit cards, business cards, (actually it more like a little filing cabinet). The other is small and just carries my license and registration.

2) Makeup: lipstick and blush

3) Two sets of keys

4) Comb

5) Gum

6) My blackberry

7) ID's for work...(different ones for different places I go).

8) Check books 2 (mine and Mom's)

9) Calander

10)Hand sanitizer (a must when I get off the subway)

11) Pens

12) Cough drops

13) Lose coins at the bottom.

14) Tissues

Everything one needs, every day and cannot do without. I don't know how I'll lessen the load!

I also usually carry a light leather briefcase, which I carry on my shoulder. If I don't have work files in it, I stuff it with more "essentials". My vitamins are in there. Some mail and bills, umbrella, recharging wires for phone, my book that I read on the train, the newspaper.

And I wonder why I have back problems. I'm going to try real hard to eliminate some "stuff".

So tell me, what do you carry?


Monday, December 17, 2007

It's Monkey Monday


Where the heck did the weekend go? Did I even participate in it? Didn't want to get out of bed today. It flew by and I don't know what the heck I did. Oh I did make the beef stew yesterday and it was great!!! Afterwards, I had rice pudding. Took a nap.

I lead such an exciting life.

This may be why the Snot Dog doesn't like the snow. Ya think?


Sunday, December 16, 2007

A Little Ice

The nor'easter didn't hit that badly here. We had some snow, some ice, winds. The only damage I had was the garbage can lids were across the street. The streets are slushy and it's supposed to rain all day. It's really biting cold tho, with the wind. I had to carry the wuss, Snot Dog, out to the trees because he refused to move off the porch!

I'm planning on making some beef stew later. It seems like that kind of day!

Have a relaxing Sunday!


Saturday, December 15, 2007

Tiny Needles Yin Yang

Yin and Yang back together again......"....reunited and I'm feeling good......"

Needles. Tiny needles. Not pine needles, but tiny, shiney needles. Stuck in me from the bottom of my spine trailing down my leg to the top of my foot. With heat and electric stimulation! Sounds kinky, doesn't it. No, that's a story for another day. ;-) My sciatica is acting up again and acupunture is my salvation. I get immediate relief. Had a session on Wednesday and am going now for another one. My yin and yang are getting their groove on!

I've also been advised not to carry so much "stuff". I have a briefcase and a handbag that I usually "lug" back and forth to work. I'm sure if I weighed it would be close to 40 lbs. of crap.

Well, the handbag can't go. It carries all the essentials that a woman needs! I don't carry my briefcase...therefore, I can't get work done. That sounds like a good thing!

I think a meme about what a woman carries in her handbag would be an interesting one. Maybe I'll start one next week!
Enjoy your Saturday!

Friday, December 14, 2007

55 Flash Fiction/

Two Falls

He had invested all his money.
Hi-tech stocks all the way.
After all, they still had three girls to send to college soon.
The plunge came. Bad.

What would he do now?

His wife called him at the office that day, worried.
The secretary answering "I'm sorry, he just stepped away".

And out the window.


Happy Dance Friday


Thursday, December 13, 2007

Cartoon Time ;-)

Busy day today...this is all I got...Enjoy and have fun, in spite of it all.......
There's supposed to be a snow storm later, not a lot here, but up to 10 inches northwest of here. I just hope I don't get caught in it driving home...;-(

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

I Know What I Meant.

I knew what I meant when I said it. I resented being asked again, that confused looked on his face. All I wanted was a glass of ice. Why was he looking at me that way? I told him twice now, the second time a little louder. What was so hard about getting ice?

Turns out that what I really said, was "Get me a cup of glass".......

Yes, it sounds funny and I'm laughing about it...but on the other hand it really scarred me.
You know why. Every time I forget something or say a silly word in place of another, I think ..ok...I'm getting it....It just scares me because of my Mom with her Alzheimers. I can't help it.


Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Da Night Before Christmas

I've been told by some that I have a New Yawk accent. (Yeah I think I do when I saw (sore) the following I thought it would be appropriate ta share wit all youse.

(Read this with a thick Brooklyn Italian accent)

'Twas the night before Christmas,
Da whole house was mella,
Not a creature was stirrin',
Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla.

When up on da roof I heard somethin' pound,
I sprung to da window,
To scream, "
YO! Keep it down!"

When what to my wanderin' eyes should appear,
But da Don of all elfs,
And eight friggin' reindeer!
Wit' slicked back black hair,
And a silk red suit,
Don Christopher wuz here,
And he brought da loot!

Wit' a slap to dare snouts,
And a yank on dare manes,
He cursed and he shouted,
And he called dem by name.

"Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,Yo Vinny, Yo Vito,
Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!"
As I drew out my gun
And hid by da bed,
He flew troo da winda
And slapped me 'side da head.

"What da hell you doin'
Pullin' a gun on da Don?
Now all you're gettin' is coal,
You friggin' moron!"

Den pointin' a fat finga
Right unda my nose,
He twisted his pinky ring,
And up da chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh,
Obscenities screamin',
Away dey all flew,
Before he troo dem a beatin'.

Den I heard him yell out,
What I did least expect,
"Merry Friggin' Christmas to all,
And yous better show some respect!"

Monday, December 10, 2007

Monkey Monday


Christmas is coming and I've got to hurry

and finish my shopping and avoid the flurry,

of last minute shoppers.

I finally got into the spirit this weekend.....(not the spirits, mind you, but the Christmas spirit. I was even listening to Christmas music all weekend. I hope this mood stays with me. I have a tendency to get a little depressed over the holidays. But I'm going to keep smiling and singing, (like Mom ;-) and put one foot in front of the other and keep on trucking!!! I have a few more presents to get.

Have a wonderful week, in spite of it all!


Sunday, December 09, 2007

Test Time

Your Christmas Song Is

Jingle Bell Rock

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock
Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time
Dancin' and prancin' in Jingle Bell Square
In the frosty air

For you, the holidays are one big party
And you always end up having a little too much eggnog!
You Are a White Christmas Tree

You like to fill your holidays with beautiful designs and classy decorations.
When it comes to Christmas, you always expect (and provide) the best.

Your Christmas is Most Like: A Charlie Brown Christmas

Each year, you really get into the spirit of Christmas.
Which is much more important to you than nifty presents.


Saturday, December 08, 2007

Snot Dog

Here's the Snot Dog (Spud) in his new Christmas hoody. Staring off into the sunset, dreaming of Mini. (sunset picture is compliments from my friend, the "Bad One" who recently moved to Arizona and has this view every evening!).

Spud met Mini on the Cyber Kitty Cruise sponsored Auntie Bee....She was kind enough to let the two pooches come along. Spud gambled and drank and from what I've learned, I think he may have had his way with Miss Mini!!! I'm wondering why Sarge Charlie wasn't a better chaperone. Be that as it may, Spud is pining for Mini all day, every day. I'm hoping she writes soon or maybe a call. I wonder if she has a webcam!!! Hehe.

Friday, December 07, 2007

55 Flash Fiction Friday

"I'm the Nice Stranger"

She's forgotten her life.
She sits now and smiles.
Sings too.
Doesn't know to who or why.

She even knows my name.
Asks me the same questions,
over and over again.
It's ok though. I answer over and over again.
She's my child now, as I was hers.

Mom has Alzheimers.

Happy Dance Friday



Thursday, December 06, 2007

The Post About Nothing

Oh man, I didn't want to get out of bed this morning.
It's cold out. Want to stay under the warm covers and sleep late. Can't tho.Must take the lil Snot dog out, however embarrassed that he is to wear the new red hoodie I bought him to keep him warm in the snow.
Got to get coffee in me first...ah...yes. While looking in the fridge I think I noticed something moving in there. I just sneezed 7 times in a row. Is that good luck?I have nothing to wear. Should I go to work naked?
Wasn't going to blog today. But as you can see I did. Duh.
My alarm is one of the sound machines that make nature noises...I have mine set to waves hitting the shore line, with birds yapping in the background. I like to wake up slowly. Don't like loud alarms. However, when the alarm goes off and Snot dog hears the birds, he starts barking!
I chew gum in the morning, is that so bad?
The moon is still out when I walk the dog....I hate the darkness of winter, altho I have nothing against the moon, or the man in it.
I'm in a hurry today. That's why I can't blog. Oh wait, I just did didn't I? Duh (again).
Have a nice day.


Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Joke Day

How times have changed!!!!!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Where I'm From

I am from trees growing out of concrete, from bottled milk deliveries, black and white TV and Irish stew. I am from the rail road room three story house, noisy, neighborly, with summer breezes blowing through the screens tossing the curtains over my face, cooling the house.
I am from the tomato plants, rose bushes and swing sets in the back yard, the small patch of grass, cool under my feet.
I am from large Sunday dinners, pranksters and beer drinkers, from the Irish with thier brogues and the Germans with their beer.
I am from those who don't know how to stop talking, laughing, crying and praying.
From the fear of the bogey man in the closet and Daddy's bedtime stories and brothers who made me eat worms.
I am from a variety of religions, yet, calling none of them my own. My spirit is one with nature.
I'm from the northeast, corned beef, sauerbraten and lasagna.
From the the mailman and the waitress who fell in love quickly and loved to dance and laugh, the grandmother who bought me nice clothes, the father with curly hair, the other grandmother who disliked Mom because she was Republican!
I am from the black and white wedding picture that now hangs on the wall of my mom's nursing home room, the urn of ashes on the fire place, the songs that still ring loud in my heart. The memories are what I have, some bad, but mostly good as I see their smiling faces in my mind and still feel their love in my heart. That's what keeps them alive, the memories.


Monday, December 03, 2007



I played the carols and we sang
Monkey and me and all the gang!
We had a wild weekend, monkey and me
We even hung monkey balls on the tree!

(yes, I am losing my mind)


Sunday, December 02, 2007

My Blog has Balls

Roger is mad at me. I've rejected his balls. Well some of them. I finally was satisfied with one or two or three. What is Roger doing with five balls you may ask...Well he's got a lot more than that...As a matter of fact I'd say Roger has lot of balls. He's been designing holiday balls for his blogging budiies. He should be proud of them too.

Thanks Sweet Roger for designing my Holiday Peace/Monkey Balls. ;-) (Seen on side bar.)

Saturday, December 01, 2007


Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'So she got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch.....