Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Love Letters



THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING
FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes ......
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Peace

31 comments:

buffalodickdy said...

Funny stuff! Good to see that from you again.. Humour got me through some pretty rough times, too...

Casdok said...

Very good! Must remember some of those!!

Matt-Man said...

Your love soothed my heart after I was rejected.

But I have one question; does this look infected?

Cheers Odat!!

Patti said...

these are funny, Odat.



((Hugs))

Roger said...

I love that hahahahaha nice! :D

The CEO said...

You have made my day! Thank you, Odat!

Monty

Paul said...

My darling,my love
You're smell like a dirty dove.

Sarge Charlie said...

you are a sweet fun loving girl
that is why you live in a tree like a squirrel

Mike M said...

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

We have a winner!!!!!!!!!

Open Grove Claudia said...

These are hilarious! And really, how many times have you thought one of these things? I have! lol!

Happy Wednesday Odat!

Dianne said...

These are great. And there's time to turn them into Valentine's Day cards! So many to choose from.

The night I met you I was instantly enthralled
We woke up together and I was apalled

thanks for the Hump Day laughter

Peace

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Bwahahahahahaha, must be talking about my ex here. Bwahahahahaha. Thanks for the belly laughs and have a great day. :)

The Mama Bear said...

I can always use a good laugh and these did it.
I want to blogroll you sweets, so I beg forgiveness, are you a mom?

Claudia said...

These are great! What a laugh!

Hammer said...

I wish I had those back when I was dating :)

M@ said...

#3!

Christy said...

These are so awesome. They should be made into postcards you can then send anonymously to people. Lol.

My Reflecting Pool said...

heheee!

crazy working mom said...

Very funny! Funny, indeed. :)

Thanks for the smiles.

Jeff B said...

You are my true love and I can think of no other.
Thank the good lord you don't look like your mother.

Loved them Odat.

Nosjunkie said...

hahahaha hahahahaha
thats so classic Id say more but its hard to type when your hosing yourself

buffalodickdy said...

What burning love, I can barely see!
I wish you'd just quit using Mace on me...

Mo said...

Ha!
That's why I always wake up screaming made me LOL.

Thanks!

♥ 2 U

Loving Annie said...

isn't that weird ? They are funny, but it just made me sad today... I want someone to be sweet to me, not give me a punchline that shows how little they care. Oh well, chalk it off to a vulnerable mood.

How are you doing today, Odat ?

citizen of the world said...

These should all be on greeting cards. Some of them are wicked.

I've made my cyber move and can be found at this site now.

Amazing Gracie said...

My love is like a red, red, rose;
but please trim that hair growing out of your nose.

My apologies...

~~~Blessings~~~

Akelamalu said...

There are some great poets out there! :)

heartinsanfrancisco said...

These are GREAT!!! All of them are fantastic. Thank you so much for a good laugh, Odat.

Mimi Lenox said...

Laughing.......laughing.....thank you!

Julie said...

Oh man....these are good! I was trying to think of another one but I can't.

Lizza said...

Fantastic stuff, Odat! Thanks for the much needed laugh.#'s 2 and 3 are my faves.