Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

It's a Dog's/Cat's Life


Having three dogs today and being a cat owner in the past, I can attest to the following, which I thought was cute......

Pet Diaries

Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary……

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary....

Day 983 of my captivity…
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow—but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now……………

Peace

6 comments:

Barb said...

Having had dogs for 35 years or so, and now having 4 cats, I can tell you... that is GOSPEL!

Big hugs :]

Traveling Bells said...

Amen, sista. Talk to a cat, and I know it is thinking, "leave a message."

Big hugs...

Sandee said...

This is so very true Odat. Right on the money.

Have a terrific day and welcome back.

Bug hugs!

"Lois Grebowski" said...

Bwahahahhahahaha! That's the truth....

who wouda thunk it?? said...

dogs...... MY FAVORITE THING!!!

Jen said...

My cats make a mad dash for the door, but ever since I stopped chasing them they've stopped going anywhere. I open the door a few minutes later and they're already waiting to be let back in.

They are much harder to please...and less needy...than dogs, which I love.