Kangeroo Porn

Well, i guess i am a fan of kangeroo porn, altho i have denied it in the past....LMAO

In keeping with the spring/holiday theme...here's another egg story for ya:

The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed.The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May We All Be Coffee

This is long but very thought provoking.
How do you see yourself?>
A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...
You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how
things were hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it
and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It
seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water
and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the
first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the
last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; withoutsaying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the
carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and
placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it ina bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She
did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter
to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed
the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the
coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same
adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in
strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the
boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile.
It's thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after
sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The
ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the
boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your
door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with
pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with theheat?
Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial
hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my
shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a
stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water,
the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it
releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when
things are at their worst, you get better and change the situationaround you.
When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you
elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you
a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make
you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The
brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go
forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and
veryone around you is crying.

You might want to send this message to those people who mean something
to you (I JUST DID); to those who have touched your life in one way or
another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those
who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down;
to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so
meaningful in your life.

If you don't send it, you will just miss out on the opportunity to
brighten someone's day with this message!>

It's easier to build a child than repair an adult. This is so true -
may we all be COFFEE.

Poor Oink

For Boondoggled:
From: Oink

Enjoying my new home...thanks!

HA HA HA HA

A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.
The barman looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it.
"Tiny" replies the man.
"Why's that?" asks the bartender.
"Because he's my newt!"

Amen!

My spelling is sometimes atrocious. I used to be an excellent
speller. What happened? Spell checker.

As I type on the computer now, if I misspell a word, the spell
checking feature automatically puts a red line under the
misspelled word. I simply right-click on the word and several
options appear for the correct spelling.

It's a great feature, but it has made me a bad speller. I no
longer need to think or remember how to properly spell words.
The spell checker does that for me.

I understand why life can't have a spell checker. It makes us
weak and dependent on the machine instead of the mind.
The easier life gets, often the weaker we get.

Just look at what cars, elevators, escalators, moving sidewalks,
power windows, automatic doors, dishwashers, washing machines,
television, video games and yes, computers have done for the
majority of our bodies. We are rounder and softer than ever and
as a result, often quite unhealthy.

Just go to the mall and watch as people circle the parking lot
looking for the closest spot to the door that involves the least
amount of walking. Usually, they NEED the exercise.

Sometimes easy street and the path of least resistance is a dead
end. We need hills and mountains in life just to help keep us
in shape. They help our bodies; they help develop our spirits.

Ocaisionally we need to turn the spell chekker off and think and
purhaps park at the farr end of the lot.

~A MountainWings Original~

Lonely Jeans

Saw a pair of jeans lying by the side of the road this morning while driving to work. Hmmm...infinite possibilities...came to mind as I looked at them....so lonely there.
I mean did someone lose them on their way to the laundramat? Was their car window open and did a gust of wind swoop them up and blow them out to the road? Maybe the driver just threw them out, keeping them for as long as they could in the back of their car just in case? Hmmm.
Maybe someone was changing a tire, and you know how your pants kinda slip down when squatting...showing a lil butt crack...and they got all sorts of greasy...so he just abandoned them by the side of this road. Maybe someone was just walking along, minding their own business and a killer dog ran out from one of the auto body shops there and clamped his jaws around one of their pant legs. So instead of standing there and letting this dog take a chomp out their leg, they quickly slid out their jeans.. and left them, abandoned. Or maybe, just maybe.............someone is walking around today sans a pair of jeans...cause he was doing something that requires nudity in the back of a car?under the overpass?? OHHHHHH MYYYYYY....the possiblities!!!!!! Have a nice day!

Ohhhhh....."Rainy days and Mondays always get me down......" la la la la.........
Back at work after a relatively boring weekend......I suppose that's what life is all about. I should just be grateful I had two days off huh? I just didn't feel like moving this weekend tho. Had plenty to do tho and got a lot of it done in spite of myself. LOL So here's some thoughts for today:

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing like nobody's listening.
Live like it's Heaven on Earth.

Soooo be happy, in spite of yourself.

Happy Green!

All Is Well

In case you're wondering, the lil snot dog is ok. It appears to be his allergies are acting up because of the severe change in the weather.. (i'm soo glad it wasn't anything more serious) the poor lil guy was so listless yesterday.....and after i gave him some benedryl....lol...poor guy was walking around as if he drank a fifth of scotch...lmao....

So I'm back in work and here's some advise i received in one of my emails...(don't know why but i like these motivational kinda sayings) . Gives me something to aspire to...when i grow up:

ONE: Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: R espect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

A Dog and Some Prayers

ok..I have to take today off from work....My lil dog is sick!!!! awwww!!! I'm waiting to call the vet now....In the meantime.....my morning prayers: 1) Dear Lord, So far today, am I doing all right? I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, gurmpy, nasty, selfish, or self-indulgent. I have not whined, complained, cursed or eaten any chocolate. I have charged nothing on my credit cart. But I will be getting out of bed in a minute and I think that i will really need your help then. 2) Dear Lord, I don't ask for much in a man. He only has to be tall, rich, funny, sexy, single, strong, good-looking, smart, romantic, charming, warm, sweet, sensitive, clever, athletic, kind, generous, punctual, sincere and of course he has to be willing to feed me ice cream in bed every single night for the rest of my life. :)

TO ME, FROM ME :-)

Should I take time to sit and ponder how my life has been over the past year? The reason I ask is that it was my birthday this past weekend and in the past I'd take a peak backwards to see if I was living up to my expectations. Well.....since this year has been a total blur in my mind (not from drugs or alchohol mind you) I really can't say if my expectations have been attained! So now how am I going to measure my progress????

I know!!! (she's says as a lil light bulb goes off). It was not really progression for me, I believe it was digression. I departed from my life of maturity and wandered into being silly and immature. And you know something? I LIKE IT!!!!!! :) I mean I've really done nothing really stupid...just in my mind...LOL and I'm acting like a teenager (what's wrong with that?). So it's like I'm growing younger....yeah!!!!!!! That's it!....mmmmmmm......Now I'm not so depressed!!!!!

CED

Ok...So I took old bug eyes to work on "Take Your Dog to Work Day".....I didn't expect he'd get my job! Geeze!
(and he snotted all over my papers!)

The Color of My Personality

At the urging of "not Hannah" I took this quiz........Here's my results:


odat1283's Existing Situation
Volatile and outgoing. Needs to feel that events are developing along desired lines, otherwise irritation can lead to changeability or superficial activities.

odat1283's Stress Sources
Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and to bridge the gap which she feels separates herself from others. Anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to explore all its possibilities, and to live it to the fullest. She therefore resents any restriction or limitation being imposed on her and insists on being free and unhampered.

odat1283's Restrained Characteristics
Believes that she is not receiving her share--that she is neither properly understood or adequately appreciated. Feels that she is being compelled to conform, and close relationships leave her without any sense of emotional involvement.
Willing to become emotionally involved and able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity, but tries to avoid conflict.

odat1283's Desired Objective
Takes easily and quickly to anything which provides stimulation. Preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature, whether erotically stimulating or otherwise. Wants to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality with an altogether charming and impressive influence on others. Uses tactics cleverly so as to avoid endangering her chances of success or undermined others' confidence in herself.

odat1283's Actual Problem
Seeks to avoid criticism and to prevent restriction of her freedom to act, and to decide for herself by the exercise of great personal charm in her dealings with others.

odat1283's Actual Problem #2
Has a fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants. This leads her to employ great personal charm in her dealings with others, hoping that this will make it easier for her to reach her objectives.
Take the ColorQuiz yourself right now!

Things You May Want to Know (or maybe not).

•
The female bedbug has no sexual opening. To get around this small problem, the male uses his curved penis to drill a vagina into the female.


The female Praying Mantis eats her mate after sex. During the act the female will hook her large arms around to hold him in place and start nibbling away. The sex drive is so strong in the male that he can continue to copulate even if his partner gets a little peckish before he's finished.
•

The male tick doesn't have a penis. Instead, he uses his nose to sniff out the females vagina. Once he's made it large enough by poking his nose around, he turns round and deposits his seamen. To finish the job off, he then turns round again and pushes the seamen inside with his trusty nose.
•
The oyster is usually ambisexual. It begins life as a male, then becomes a female, then changes back to being a male, then back to being female. It may go back and forth many times.

Coffee Quotes (Don't Ask!)

Coffee leads men to trifle away their time, scald their chops, and spend their money, all for a little base, black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle water.

Chocolate, men, coffee - some things are better rich.

Many people claim coffee inspires them, but, as everybody knows, coffee only makes boring people even more boring.

It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.

Nothing

Ok...Why do i always start out with OK? Don't know...lol I think its because I'm trying to find some spark of an idea to write about......Haven't been here for a while because ...well just because. So here i am again, sans aluminum hat. It's been way too cold to wear anyway. After all that snow, temperatures went up lil, snow melted. Then it turned so cold my spit froze. (not that i spit, i only do it when it's real cold out to see if it freezes....lol). So that's it for now....See when i get some ideas...;-)

HVD!

HAPPY

VALENTINE'S

DAY!!!!!!!

:-)

AIN'T NO STOPPING ME !!!!!!

ok....it's 28 inches of snow later....and after shoveling and digging and getting my driveway clear of ALL SNOW.....and going to sleep last night thinking "good...i can just zip right out of here in the morning.." guess what happens?
SNOW PLOW!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......Blocked me back in.......So at 5Am this morning....I'm out there, (not with a shovel or a snow blower, but with my FEET!)
I kicked it away!!!!!! yup....did. I was so infuriated. I'm sure my neighbors were appreciative of hearing me and my lil feet kicking blocks of snow right out into the newly plowed street! but i was determined...(had to get to work on time today for a meeting). I think i'll market myself...as the Mutant Ninja Snow Kicker. Has a nice ring.... don't cha think?
Well my wish for you today is: "don't let those snow plows get ya down".....(there's always a way)......lol

One more thing about snow: Do people think its the end of the world when it snows that everone, and i mean everyone, is out at the same time buying grocercies???? Why is that?