Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

My Brother


"If you have made a mistake, there is always another chance for you...you may have a fresh start any moment you chose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down." Mary Pickford

Accept the pain, cherish the joys, resolve the regrets; then can come the best of benedictions - "If I had my life to live over, I'd do it all the same".
Joan McIntosh

This is a repost from one I did last year... and because it's January, the month of my brother's and Mom's and my grandmother's birthdays, I get to thinking a lot about the past..........

Now, some of you may think this is strange, but i believe it's a story that has to be told. My brother's birthday just passed and it brought to mind something that I believe is very funny and something he would think comical too. You see my brother passed away a year and a half ago and we really did not part on such great terms.
That being said, prior to the two of us becoming "adults" (and I use that term loosely) we were very close. As a matter of fact, we were clowns....always pulling pranks on everyone inside and outside the family and we did have a loving history together up to a point.
Well, a point came in my life where everything I held to be safe and secure and pretty much settled blew up. My Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, 9/11 happened (I lost some really close friends and co-workers), my best friend died, my brother started to use drugs and eventually became homeless, AND, (big and) I left my husband.
Needless to say, I did seek therapy(lol). Which brings me back to the point of this whole story.......
While in therapy (before my brother passed) I did talk about him and our relationship so my therapist got to know him thru me.
When he died, he was cremated, at his request.
Well.........one day as I was going into my therapist's office I hear a honking horn and a woman exited her car and started to walk towards me. At first I didn't recognize her but as she approached I saw it was the Funeral Director from the place where we had my brother laid out. She told me she had his ashes in the car and asked me if I wanted them now or should she wait until I stopped by her office.
I said sure, give them to me now.
As she went to the car to retrieve them, I thought, hmmmm I wonder what these are going to look like because i was on my way into the doctor's office and didn't want to walk back to my car with this "package".
She came back and handed me a plainly wrapped brown papered package. Sure was heavy too!!!!!! I took it and thought ....Wow this is very strange....and then said "Hi Bill".....and chuckled to myself.
So now I enter the doc's office........he's a really nice guy btw. I sit down and he notices i have what appears to be a very heavy package in my lap (you see I don't know what to do with it, I'm thinking "should i put this on his desk or on the floor"?
Since I've never had the occasion of "transporting" someone's ashes...this is all new to me.
Well.......I wound up placing it on his desk. The doctor looked quizically at the package....I start to talk assuring him it was not a bomb, and asked him: "Remember me mentioning my brother Bill?" and he said "Of course"!
I said: "Well I'd like you to meet him!"

Peace

Gratitude List
1) Being able to laugh at life's tradgedies
2) Therapists
3) Mistakes
4) Forgiveness
5) Penquins

20 comments:

Just D said...
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Odat said...
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Bikerbabenj said...
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Odat said...
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Skittles said...

So sorry about all your losses, but I think you handled the package incident with style and grace.

Just-Me-Jen said...

Oh my! :-)
But, umm... Penguins?

ShadowFalcon said...

I wish I could be that positive.

Odat your an inspiration. Sorry to hear about your brother. You were lucky to have him.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

oh honey you know this one got to me! i had no idea you lost your brother to drugs. sigh.... i am just so sorry, but you are well and making me smile, thanks odat, and honey, wanna trade your diary for my glasses? i'll just put it on the table there, sorry but melon had it i think, he never did fess up but some of the things he's written about? well, sigh... sorry. bee

Pickled Olives said...

I bet your brother planned it as a practical joke and I am SURE he was proud of how you handled it!!! I thought to dress my dads box up with a witch hat for halloween and introduce him to the neighbors that hadn't met him yet. But, after the first drink, I decided he'd enjoy watching tv instead.

SGT DUB said...

Odat, glad you see you doing better, you're right, life is about learning lessons, I think you've done a good job so far.

Matt-Man said...

Beeyooteeful story Odat...I dig you. Cheers!!

Polyman3 said...

Sorry to hear about your brother. It is so hard with siblings;
you can go through a whole range of emotion in one hour with them, and who knows you better than someone you've grown up with.

After anyone close passes, there is always things you've wished you could have said to them when they were alive.
My heart goes out to you. Sometimes all you can do is laugh about the irony of life.

Anyway, it sounds like you got it together now and I'm glad you can write a great little story about it.

Here on LI, many of us felt the pain of 9/11 also. My neighbor lost her husband and then renovated her whole house with the insurance money as a testiment to him.

Michael C said...

Odat: I knew that you've been through a lot, but not that much. I really love your sense of humor and admire how you used it when facing something so serious.

I guess I won't complain about Mondays anymore ;-)

Lizza said...

What a lovely post. You are some kind of wonderwoman: never letting go of your sense of humor in spite of the tragedies.

not so common said...

You are an amazing person to share all that you do. Come back to your friends, though, because we miss you!

Odat said...

skittles, thanks..I didn't know what else to do at the moment..lol.

just, thanks for the visit and yes, penquins...I just watched the movies "Happy Feet" and the "March of the Penquins" so that's where that came from.hehe.

Shadow, I only appear to positive..lol ..you should see me behind the scenes...

bee, thanks for your sweet thoughts...(just give me the diary or your glasses get it).

pickled, yeah my brother would have thought that was funny...and that's hilareous about your Dad and Halloween. I'm still thinking about the perfect place to sprinkle some of my brother's ashes..which I won't mention here..but he would like it..lol.

Sgt. Thanks so much!!

Matt,
I dig you too (and your monkey).

Poly, always good to see you and your great words of wisdom...and Yes I use my humor to get through a lot.

michael, my friend, thanks and you can complain about Mondays all you want...I'm gonna! ;-)

lizza, i'm no wonderwoman...sometimes life is like kryptonite and I fall down hard...but like my quote says, I don't stay down.

Twinhead!!! Nice to see you ...thanks for visiting!! I'll see you and your shoes tomorrow!!!

Peace

Claudia said...

I'm sorry to hear about your brother....I'm glad there was some humor in there!

thethinker said...

I'm sorry for your loss. I've never seem someone so positive and even humorous about a situation like that.

Keep up the optimism.

Bikerbabenj said...

((((((((((((hugs ODAT)))))))))))) just cuz

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Wow! Just wow. You are awesome. I think the weird incident was Bill, communicating with you through the kind of humor you shared as kids. That was the real essence of your relationship with him, not the drugs and other troubles that came later.

It seems that he was trying to give you back the good memories.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful story.