Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Summer Classes

I came across this yesterday....just a case anyone may be interested. ;-)

Summer Classes for Men at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5 Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6 Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7 Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8 Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11 Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12 How to be the Ideal Shopping CompanionRelaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14 The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.


Five things I'm grateful for today:
1) Can I say sex here?
2) Lil kittens
3) Being able to travel
4) Best friends
5) Making friends laugh


Michael C said...

I would normally find this very funny if it weren't for the 8 ice cube trays I left empty on the counter last night?

Also, I gotta say...well, let's just say I noticed #1 on your grateful list today ;-)

Hammer said...

I went through this class at a very early age. I'm trying to get my kids educated in this manner as well :)

Paul said...

Do they have remedial classes ? :)

Matt-Man said...

Okay lady I have one for you...We need the seat left up so when you're done lift it up and we will put it down for ya. Cheers!!

Mike M said...

My God these are so funny!!!

I can't wait to see what you write in The Experiment!!


Sarge Charlie said...

you see, some of us have completed and mastered all these things, the problem is, by the time you have mastered them, your are too old to enjoy the rewards.....

the toilet seat took about 25 years, i now have it down, i mean sit down.

Loving Annie said...

heh-heh ! I want to meet the graduates !

Happy Wednesday Odat !

Odat said...

michael, Eight??????????? tsk tsk.

Hammer, lol, good luck with that!

Paul, it's like riding a horse, you don't forget...or do you???

Matt-man, Now don't go playing reverse psychology (or reverse seat position)on me ok???

mike m, you're getting me nervous!

sarge, my philosophy is: "you're never too old"!

annie, I have a feeling there aren't any ;-(


Comedy + said...

Bwahahaah. Now this is very, very funny. Ironic, but true in many cases. Thanks for another wonderful laugh. :)

The CEO said...

I grew up in a house of women. As it happens, I was a better cook than them, and my wife. I'm also an abberation in Nature.

CS said...

I'm working on these with my boys - I'd like them not to annoy the fell out of girlfriends/wives some day.

Gledwood said...

Har-har very entertaining ...

hi I found you via comments on somebody called e-dog's blog .. your colourful dancing attracted me. V colourful blog u got here as well. You will note from my very coloUrful spelling I am British. My blog is blue and I do not find that a depressing colour ... any way I digress - o !! I digress again I see you're a friend of Dan the "blah blah man" ... yeah he gets about 70000 comments each time how does he do that ?? OK I'm done I just wanted to say hi anyway. All the best 2u
"vol 2" ...

Kiyotoe said...

not funny :(

if i end up in one of these classes I'm blaming you Odat.

not funny :(

Odat said...

comedy, hiya and you're welcome!

ceo, i don't know why but I figured that out about you!

cs, lol, Good luck with that!!

gledwood, Hi and thanks for stopping by. I'll stop over to see you in a bit! Come back real soon!

Ah come on, was too funny!!!
(and dragons shouldn't need those types of classes...they're way beyond that, aren't they???)


Paul Champagne said...

Let's see ... I need classes 6, 7, 9 and 12. I feel pretty proud of myself, most of my buddies need them all.

Roger said...

hahaha smartass!! funny lady Odat;D

Odat said...

Paul, that's not so bad. Good for you. ;-)

Roger, so I'll sign you up for all of them right????


~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

Hehe, I wonder any really would sign up?

ShadowFalcon said...

wait a second your telling me its not a joke?

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

How do I enrol? Is it automatic? Can I just watch the lesson on the TV? Will it work if mysignificant other has the remote?

Girl on the Run... said...

Thanks for the list... passed it on to all the women I know! ") Is it possible to get the class open to a few more participants!?

All the best,

Sunrunner said...

Oh Lordy, am I glad we have an ice cube maker in our refrigerator!!!

Love the list!!!