Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Saturday Sillies


As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember .....

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

12. My neighbor was bitten by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

14. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way
Peace

15 comments:

The CEO said...

The perfect way to start the day! Thank you, still laughing. Have a fabulous weekend!

Monty

Paul said...

Hehehe Nice ones Odat !!!

Matt-Man said...

HA....Enjoy your Saturday Odat. Cheers!!

Patti said...

Have a great Saturday, Odat! It's a bit breezy here in the NYC area, isn't it? Hold on tight to Snot Dog.

;-)

Hammer said...

Those are hilarious. One of those happend to one of my female employees once. She told us she had her blinker fluid changed with a totally straight face.

My Reflecting Pool said...

these are funny. heheee! Great way to enjoy my afternoon break

Gledwood said...

Every time I slide down the bannisters of life I seem to bloody fall off!

M@ said...

Turn signal fluid. LOL.

M@ said...

Reminds me of George Kastanza's "Johnson Rod," which had to be replaced.

Open Grove Claudia said...

This is very fun! Thanks for sharing! :)

Oswegan said...

Funny.

Teenagers stay up so late there's no having sex anyway, without getting busted.

~Oswegan

lala said...

haaaaha- i like the one about ppl the rabid guy wants to bite.

buffalodickdy said...

The blonde joke won the contest!

Mike M said...

ROFL!

katherine. said...

whenever I need a joke...I'm gonna come here...