Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

It Sneaks up on You


You don't get over it
you just get through it...

you don't get by it
because you can't get around it

it doesn't get better
it just gets different

every day....
grief puts on a new face.

Wendy Feiereisen

It ambushed me yesterday. That's what grief does. Especially when you're trying really hard to ignore it....it sneaks up on you.

I've been going to grief therapy and am reading this really great book about grief entitled "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye" by Brook Noel and Pamela D. Blair, ph.d cause no matter what we think grief is and think we know what to expect, it's not that! I've lost close friends and family members and this grief is not the same. This is deep into my soul grief and I'm learning that it will become a part of me from this moment on. As I tell my friends, I'm not the person I was two months ago, so please try to understand and accept the new me as I work through this and get to peace, someday. My days are filled with extreme emotions lately. I have one good day, two bad ones, then another good one, and so on. Just knowing this is the natural progression of grief keeps me from thinking I'm going insane.

Thanks for all your Happy Birthday wishes yesterday...they helped more than you know!

Peace

27 comments:

Roger said...

We are here for you Odat! Blogging is a great way to purge and get your feelings out. Big hug to you!

Matt-Man said...

Hang in there Odat and find your peace. He would want that for you. Cheers!!

Patti said...

I'm here for you too, Odat. You're fortunate you can write about these feelings. I can't seem to!

We had yummy cake, but there was no ice cream.
:-(

I missed the ice cream.

Paul said...

Hang in there Odat-this too shall pass. :-)

Dianne said...

"it doesn't go away, it just gets different" - so true Odat
I hope your insight and strength is a comfort to you - it is certainly a comfort to me and I thank you for sharing so deeply and honestly.

Michael C said...

Hang in there Odat. Your pain and grief really touches me. We're all here for ya in our little ways through the internet and across the country...

Casdok said...

Just be good to yourself (H)

buffalodickdy said...

I wish I could help more... do your best, take your time...

katherine. said...

eventually your loss will become a part of who you are....and you will get to go on....

its a very harsh experience to absorb

use all these virtual friends as much as you can...and need to.

sending up warm prayers for your heart.

PhoenixHearse said...

Sorry, I haven't been reading your blog long enough to know exactly what happened, but I do understand grief. So I give you virtual hugs.
(((HUGS)))

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Love you sweetie and here's a big [[[[[HUG]]]]]. My shoulder is always here for you to lean on. :)

Vixen said...

I hope that some kind of peace sneaks up on you soon. Until then, internet hugs.

Sarge Charlie said...

You are getting around it by sharing with others, as you well know, pain shared is pain lessened. HUGS

jason said...
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jason said...
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Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

oh odat i am so sorry honey, i just don't know how you are doing it at all, i cannot even think about it. hugs to you dear...

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxox

Open Grove Claudia said...

Grief is very hard for me. I tend to be an "above the neck" person - so the waves of emotion are... befuddling at best.

I think you are an amazing human being - two months ago and today. I wish I lived there. I'd love to just sit and drink some tea.

Maybe when I sell the books and am on book tour?? ;) I hope so!

M@ said...

The only grief I've experienced in life is when my ex left me after we'd lived together for seven years and spent most of a decade joined at the hip.

I'll never see her again and she's dead to me in that regard. It's the worst thing in the world.

citizen of the world said...

There is no easy way. Hang in there!

Jeff B said...

You're doing great Odat. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. It's something that sems to change with each day.

Sorry to have missed your birthday.

Claudia said...

Soul numbing grief is pretty intense...and you're not going crazy!! hugs hugs and more HUGS!!

Christy said...

Maybe you need to just let yourself go crazy. Break something. Scream. Rip a pillow apart. Release.

jason said...
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The Boy said...

You know, the fact you are said you have an occasional good day is really totally excellent news. Sometimes I wouldn't have a good day for weeks on end.

The thing is, it will start to change, you'll have two good days, then a bad one. Then it will be a week of good days, then a month.

However, as I think you can guess you may not ever stop having the occasional bad day. Even now, with a life moved on and a new love in my life, I still once in a very blue moon, have a bad day.

Like you say, it changes you.

Lois Grebowski said...

Hugs dear.... big squishy hugs...

Akelamalu said...

I imagine eventually you will have more good days than bad - at least that is what I hope for you honey. x

Pamela D. Blair said...

Dear Odat --- just letting you know that you're not alone. And thank you so much for your kind words about our book. Wishing you happy days and warm hugs, Pamela D. Blair, co-author, I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye