Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

The Opposite of Yesterday (hehe)

If you liked yesterday's poem, you're going to love this one!!!!
Go placidly amid the noise and the waste and remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.

Avoid quiet & passive persons unless you are in need of sleep.

Rotate your tires.

Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself & heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys; know what to kiss & when.

Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do.

Wherever possible, put people on hold.

Be comforted that in the face of all aridity & disillusionment & despite the changing fortunes of time, there is always a big future in computer maintenance.

Remember the Pueblo.

Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle & mutilate.

Know yourself; if you need help, call the FBI.

Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially with those persons closest to you -- that lemon on your left, for instance.

Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face.

Gracefully surrender the things of youth, birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan; & let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

Hire people with hooks.

For a good time, call 606-4311; ask for Ken.

Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese; & reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Milwaukee.

You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here, & whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back.

Therefore make peace with your God whatever you conceive Him to be -- Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin.

With all its hopes, dreams, promises, & urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate.

Give up.

Copyright © National Lampoon. Written by Tony Hendra.
Gratitude List:
1) Sleeping late
2) Laughing with friends
3) That I didn't fall down and go boom when I slipped on ice yesterday
4) I'm still standing
5) Popcorn


Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

one more please, adult children that call their mother....

smiles, bee

Bikerbabenj said...

Is Ken cute?

Odat said...

Thanks Bee...That's a good one!

Biker...Yeah, he looks just like Marco!!! ;-)

Claudia said...

That's funny!! thanks for that

Lizza said...

Ohhhh, that was funny in a depressing sort of way. ;-)

Glad you didn't hurt yourself when you slipped on ice! If you did, you'd have something to add to Deteriorata.

Dan said...

Slipping on ice sucks ... unless you land on popcorn. That would be cool.

Meloncutter said...

Glad to see you are feeling better.

Later Y'all

Michael C said...

That is great! It should be put on a greeting card...a really bad, evil greeting card ;-)
Enjoy Funday!!

Donsie said...

Very well putt and enjoyable :-)

ShadowFalcon said...

I liked the poem :-)

"hire people with hooks"

don't tell me you have a pirate featish as well?

Matt-Man said...

Hendra is Da Man!!

Just D said...

I sent the MP3 of this to Crankster a few months ago, it is a song from the 70s. I don't have it anymore, but he may...

soubriquet said...

Go Raucously amid the pace and silence, And remember what fun can be had in shouting.
As far as possible, without compromise, pick fights with strangers.
Shout your lies fiercely, shout down the others, -wimps and losers, who cares what they think.

Seek out loud and aggressive persons, for they are your kin.
If you compare yourself to others, you'll see what losers they are.
Despise their achievements, as well as their ant-like plans.

Keep obsessed with yourself, your greatness.
That's really neat, y'know.
Be careful in your deals,
Rip the other guy off first.
But hey, other guys use wicked cunning,
You could pick up some neat new scams.

Be yourself. Lie a lot.
Get what you can, while it lasts,
Ignore older folk.
What the hell do they know?
Stay tough, The shit might get deeper.
But don't sweat it,
It's cool to be an outsider.

Obey no rules, burn yourself out!
You are a child of the universe, no less than rock bands, or Paris Hilton,
You have a right to be here,
And whether or not its clear to others,
The universe rotates around you as it should.

Therefore, f*** god, whoever he thinks he is,
And whatever mad things you get into,
In the crazy chaos of life, party on.
Theres no beauty that can't be improved by a marker pen and ten cans of spray paint,
So spray it,
And f*** the lot of them!