Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Computer Virus



VIRUS WARNING!!!
=================

If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes," delete it
IMMEDIATELY!

Do not open it.

Apparently this one is a pretty nasty computer virus.

It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it
will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your
computer.

It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards.

It reprograms your ATM access code, messes up the tracking on
your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's
you attempt to play.

It will program your phone's auto dial to call only 1-900 numbers.

This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.

It will drink ALL your soda.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?

It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are
expecting company.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with
Rogaine.

If the "Bedtimes" message opens in a Windows 95/98/XP
environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your
hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to tags from your
mattresses and pillows. It will also re-fill your skim milk with
whole milk.

WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN!!!

You've got to warn as many people as you can or you'll
pass gas so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot
straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite
the person nearest you.
Good Luck!
;-)
Peace

26 comments:

Mike M said...

Some days I hate to be a guy!

lala said...

Hmmm... Can my stepdad be a computer virus??

=)

Paul said...

Odat, chill darlin'. :-)

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

A weapon of Mass Disruption.

Roger said...

Bad virus! Bad virus! Don't do that no more!

The CEO said...

Where can I get copies of this virus? I have enemies!

Matt-Man said...

Too Late!!

Michael C said...

But what if I want to ignite the person next to me??
;-)

ren.kat said...

Oh! My mattress tags! That might be my third strike!

Patti said...

do they have a pill for that?

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

odat i think sarge already caught this. can anything be done?

smiles, bee

Ralph said...

If it empties all your soda, are other carbonated beverages (aka: beer) exempt??

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

Haha, you had me going there for a bit!

Odat said...

Mike, why?????????? lol

lala, you're so bad!!! lol

paul, I AM chillin!!!

LGS, you said it! haha.

roger, you probably liked it! lol

ceo, I"ll send ya all you want.

matt-man, was it good for you?

michael, you wouldn't, would you???

renkat, I was thinking the same thing!!!

patti, yeah, Beano!

bee, yeah Beano! ;-)

ralph, i understand beer is exempt..the aeration process is differnt.

silver, hehe.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Odat said...

Hey Anon.....I think you're the virus....and a punk for not signing your name. You're a reason I may vote against freedom of the press.
Peace, anyway.

katherine. said...

oh geez....sorry about that Odat...

and you're right about not leaving a name.

they don't have the backbone to own up to their words...or are embarrassed by them...

Odat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Odat said...

The last two comments were made because some anonymous punk left a racist, white supremist very long and wordy comment there and I couldn't delete it...I finally got some help and got rid of it...It wasn't even worth joking about to keep it there...scarey!!!

Odat said...

ut oh, now i feel my right leg starting to spasm ;d

;-)

MyUtopia said...

I don't open e-mails anymore. I decided I can't take one more fwd. :)

Meloncutter said...

First of all. Let me apologise to the 2 little old ladies at work who are now in the burn ward. I am taking collections for them. My leg is still quivering.

You should have warned me earlier becuase I fried the cat just before I opened your blog.

Dammit email me next time.

Later Y'all.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I got that same Anonymous comment once. I deleted it and took a very long, hot shower.

Your computer virus, though -- I think I could find it a good home if it was made available.

Open Grove Claudia said...

Finally, someone to blame for the toilet flushing every time I shower. I just thought it was a ghost....

Hammer said...

I'm moving to a cave where it can't find me :)

evalinn said...

What a nasty little bastard!