Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes," delete it
Do not open it.
Apparently this one is a pretty nasty computer virus.
It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it
will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your
It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards.
It reprograms your ATM access code, messes up the tracking on
your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's
you attempt to play.
It will program your phone's auto dial to call only 1-900 numbers.
This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.
It will drink ALL your soda.
FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?
It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are
It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with
If the "Bedtimes" message opens in a Windows 95/98/XP
environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your
hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to tags from your
mattresses and pillows. It will also re-fill your skim milk with
WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN!!!
You've got to warn as many people as you can or you'll
pass gas so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot
straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite
the person nearest you.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
This is the Snot Dog, live, (well not really live, but moving and talking) to say hey to all my blog buddies. I was testing his bark about two weeks after his palate and nose surgery. If I ask him who's there?, he starts barking. I'm such a taunt. But I had to see if he was getting better. He was a little hoarse (haha) dog for a while. He's fine now, barking normally, for a snot dog, and he's not snorting like a large pig anymore. I miss it tho! ;-)
Monday, August 27, 2007
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Take the quiz and see what book you are!!!
Oh my, I think mine is a little off...lol..what do you think??????? ;-)
by Vladimir Nabokov
Considered by most to be depraved and immoral, you are obsessed with
sex. What really tantalizes you is that which deviates from societal standards in every
way, though you admit that this probably isn't the best and you're not sure what causes
this desire. Nonetheless, you've done some pretty nefarious things in your life, and
probably gotten caught for them. The names have been changed, but the problems are real.
Please stay away from children.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
"Borrowed" from Mike's Homefront ;-)
Friday, August 24, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Thanks so much! And just so you all know, the sweet Sarge does a warm up on Thursdays for my Happy Dance Fridays, go on over and see what's in store for today. Yeah I know it all sounds sooo silly, but it's so much fun...So laugh, just for the hell of it!.
I've been "ordered" by the Sergeant (saluting now), to pass this along to two more blog buddies.
I hereby bestow this award to HeartinSanfrancisco because of all the reasons I mentioned in yesterday's post and her blog is definitely worth the trip to San Francisco. You won't be sorry.
Michael , over at the Wonderful World of Nothing Worthwhile (and another Californian! hmm), certainly deserves the silver thingy too. He's my bestest blog buddy and has a wonderful and wacky sense of humor, not to mention he's funny too...Go visit, espcially on Tuesdays, where he answers questions on any topic! (except mine ;-( (but that's another story!)
So there you have it, the Silver Thingy Awards!
A little something before you leave (this has nothing to do with the above awards...it just made me laugh). I can't help it, it's my sick sense of humor coming out.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
Every one of the following entries made me laugh and the Snot dog snort...
But the one I laughed loudest at was Mike M's....So he gets the Odat Award....and everyone else gets the "Honorable Mention" award.... Copy and paste them and display them proudly, or not at all, and thanks for participating. I had a lot of fun....
For: Mike M.
For everyone else:
The entries were as follows:
My Reflecting Pool said...
She said she wants a REAL dog asshole. And where is my alimony check?
In order to be slightly more irritating, crotchety old Edwin bought a stuffed-and-posed dog which he liked to leave outside his gate on rainy days, making passers-by shout at him what a horrible man he was.Ian
Mike M said...
"Yo bitch, get down here! Papa's all dressed up and the ride is waiting"!!
"Jesus my ass itches if I rub it on this sidwalk ahhhhh oooooohh ahhhhhh"
Li'l snot dog? Hey man, you home? Come on out and play. I won't beat you up, I promise. We can go to the park and sniff other dogs' "stuff."
"I want to be Lassie when I grow up"or"Curb your enthusiasm, not me"
"They could have waited until I was dead to have me stuffed." Cheers!!
Michael C said...
I hope I can lift my leg that high!!!
Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...
oboy cake! sorry that's all i can think about odat. but the dog is cute too, now i have to go eat cake!smiles, bee
Sarge Charlie said...
Hey buddy, got a dime for a cup of joe......
Open Grove Claudia said...
If Pinocchio can do it, I can too.
roof roof...Timmy's in the well!!!
Lassie Industries: For all your taxidermy needs.
Lone Grey Squirrel said...
Little Timmie grew up but after all those adventures and tv series, he couldn't face the truth that Lassie went to the dogpound in the sky and so he had her stuffed.
Lone Grey Squirrel said...
Adorable stuffed toy needs new home. Only one previous paranoid owner who freaked out when she saw the "Made in China" label.
Ladylawyer said..Hey, hurry up with that baggie !!!! and no sandwich bag today! Bring one of those big leaf bags. that shoe i ate last nite is going rt thru me!
SCROLL DOWN TO SEE HAPPY DANCE FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
My twinhead (you remember her,the one I look just like from the back and whose wedding shoes were first showcased in this blog and whose wedding I went up to Boston for and had a wonderful time, and whose wedding cake is right here for all to sample, especially Miss Bee)found this lil pooch just sitting outside a Brooklyn brownstone, all alone....looking, waiting...for what? for who? and why?
Be loyal to what you love, be true to the earth, fight your enemies with passion and laughter.-Edward Abbey
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
|You Are Strawberry Cake|
Fresh, sassy, and romantic.
You're a total flirt, who never would turn down a sugary treat.
Occasionally you're a bit moody - but you usually stay sweet!
|You Belong in Rome|
You're a big city soul with a small town heart
Which is why you're attracted to the romance of Rome
Strolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in hand
And gorgeous Italian people - could life get any better?
Monday, August 13, 2007
Can I just stay in bed for five more minutes????
Happy Monkey Monday!
Just to let you know I got my coffee made this morning without the cayenne pepper...(in case you were wondering :-)
I'm off to work, like a jerk
I wish I were Captain Kirk
At least he got his own star ship
All I get is a lot of lip.
Oh just kill me now....I have no idea where these thoughts come from...maybe I've been abducted by alieans and they've put probes in my brain to write these things...(Whadda think Ian?) Ok...than's enough for a Monday, enjoy all the monkeys today!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
LAYER 1 – On the Outside
Birth Date: March 11
Current Status: Separated
Eye Color: Blue-green....they change depending on what I'm wearing.
Hair Color: Auburn
LAYER 2 – On the Inside
I am: Irish/German
My Fear: Being alone
My weaknesses: Shoes and chocolate!
My Perfect Pizza: A New York Pizza...plain just cheese and sauce (with a sprinkle of hot pepper).
LAYER 3 – Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
My thoughts first waking up : Oh shit!! Already!!!
My bedtime : 10 p.m. or earlier (I get up really early!)
My most missed memory: Mom without Alzheimers
LAYER 4 - My Pick
Pepsi or coke : Diet Coke with Lime
Single or group dates : Single
Adidas or Nike : New Balance
Tea or Nestea : Nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla : French Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee : Coffee w/ cream and sweetnlow
LAYER 5 -
Do You…Smoke : Not anymore
Curse : Damn straight I do
Take a shower : yes, although I do take long baths when I have the time.
Have a crush : a few! ;-)
Think you’ve been in love : Of course I have
Go to school : Made it all the way thru graduate school !
Want to get married : Been there, done that
Believe in yourself : Of course I do....
Think you’re a health freak : only sometimes ;-)
LAYER 6 - In the Past
Drank alcohol: Plenty, but not anymore
Gone to the mall : Every week....It's just done the hill from me!
Been on stage : yes, in elementary school. Played one of the Seven Dwarfs...hahaha.
Eaten sushi : yes
Dyed your hair: only my hairdresser knows for sure!
LAYER 7 - Have You Ever:
Played a stripping game: Yes, Strip Poker
Changed who you were to fit in: No
LAYER 8 – Are You Hoping…
To Get married: Not really
LAYER 9 - In a Guy:
Best eye colour : Doesn't matter, as long as they speak to me! ;-)
Best hair colour : Again, it doesn't matter.
Short hair or long hair : Don't care.
LAYER 10 – What Were You Doing:
One minute ago: Starting this meme
One Hour ago : Eating pizza
Month ago: Working, playing...doing what I do....
Year ago : Pretty much the same thing.
LAYER 11 – Finish The Sentences:
I love : being on the ocean, near the ocean, in the ocean!
I feel : discontented
I hate : liver
I hide : how screwed up my life really is.
I miss : being content
I need : to get on with my life.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
The mouse ran up the clock
The clock struck one
And killed the bastard.
Sweet Sarge Charlie for thinking that I inspire him and awarding me this:
That just made my day......and I also want to return the award to him because he inspires loads of people with his blog too.....Thanks Sarge!
Friday, August 10, 2007
Thursday, August 09, 2007
I woke up to thunder, lightening and rain of biblical proportion. I listened as the weather forecaster called for a tornado warning until 7AM. Tried to walk the Snot dog, operative word - TRIED! Well he can just hold in it then!!! Geeze.
My drive to the parking lot where I take my train usually takes 20 minutes. Yesterday it took three hours! There were flash floods all over the place. Cars were stuck in standing water...I got stuck on an off ramp and had to sit and wait for about an hour and and half until the water receeded. I had no choice. There were five cars already stuck there!
When I finally got to the parking lot, I learned that all trains to NYC were cancelled. Mind you it's 90 degrees out with about 95 percent humidity. Every one was soaked from the rain and then the heat. Odorific!!!! And their usually pleasant commuting personalities turned a wee bit more nasty, leaning more towards homicidal rage!
To top it all off, that tornado really did touch down, in Brooklyn! The first one EVER there. This is not Kansas people..this is New York City!!!!
I gave up going into the city and took a shuttle to one our company's other offices and worked there all day............I should have stayed home! I mean after traveling for such a long time I at least expected to be at a nice vacation spot...right?
See how evil you really are!!!
How evil are you?
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
4) Don't play so rough, you'll poke somebody's eye out....(and to paraphrase George Carlin, have you ever poked anyone's eye out, nonetheless seen anyone with their eye poked out as a result of just "playing" ?)
5) If you swallow your gum, your insides will stick together.
6) Wait an hour after eating before you swim, or you'll get cramps and drown.
7) If you're not good, we'll have to send you to the "Bad Girls" Home. (This scarred me! )
8) If you waste paper, you won't go to heaven. (I have no idea where this came from, but I believed it so much so that even today I'll use both sides of the paper. My friends make fun of me when I do this while playing Pictionary!)
9) Wear a hat or you'll catch your death......
10) You're not going anywhere until you clean your plate. (I went, I saw, and I conquered!)
I'm taggin Oger the Caveman and Boondoggled.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
When I can't make it to the beach I come here to sit and ponder...ponder and sit....sometimes I read or take a walk thru the woods...It has everything I need to find peace within. Big old trees, secretative paths, water....
Where do you find your serenity?
Monday, August 06, 2007
I went on a little sight seeing trip this weekend. Actually it was only a few blocks away from my house. It's a Revolutionary War House. One of the many where George Washington slept..hehe. I took some pics of it and the surrounding landscape with my new camera (which I will show you a little later this week). But that's not what I really want to say here...although I just did..but hey, ok, so I did!
In order to download the pics from the picture card on my camera I'm to insert the card into a little card holder first that fits my computer because the card itself doesn't fit. I forgot that! In my eager excitement (obsessiveness) I took the card from the camera and put it into the slot in my laptop. That's the moment I remembered it's supposed to go into the holder first! Damn, damn, and damn! It's like when a VCR tape used to get stuck in your VCR, only this was 100 times smaller! Damn! I didn't have a little tiny screwdriver to get it out!! I tried tweezers, pins, banging it on it's side! I thought to myself "I'm not taking this into the store to get this out, this is crazy!!!! I felt so stupid! Damn again! In desperation I pushed the card "holder' into the slot and it caught onto it and came out! What a fool am I...., I sang all night. And no, I didn't break my laptop nor the picture card! Lucky again!!!
I need someone to watch over me!!! Damn!
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Friday, August 03, 2007
Thursday, August 02, 2007
So my trek out onto the streets of NYC produced nothing yesterday, nada, squat....and I was really excited about capturing an "only in New York" moment! I went out to "on the streets", and that's where I saw him, handing out brochures, covered in tatoos with piercings all over his face.....oh well, next time.
In the meantime I got nothing!....It's been that sort of week. I hate everything kinda week. Not anyone who reads my blog, mind you, but everyone else...hehe.
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me".... Fred Allen
I'll leave you with the following which I "borrowed" from Lizza
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?