Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Important Things To Know

How E-mail is Like a Penis:

Some folks have it, some don't. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off.

They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power.
They are wrong.

Those who don't have it may agree that it's an nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it.

It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.

In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.

Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.

It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.

If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.

It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.

We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.

If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.

It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp you behavior.

Later you may ask yourself "why on earth did I do that?"

It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will do the same damn dumb things it did before.



Matt-Man said...

Mine is certainly like a penis. My outgoing emissions are a result of my own doing. Cheers!!

Deb said...

OMG and giggling at matt-man's comment. That needs to be added to Odat's list. hehe

Anonymous said...

I'll have to send this around. Very funny.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

hi odat. this is all true. right? and is there cake in here today? i think i will sit in here a little while and rest and eat some cake.

smiles, bee

ramo said...

Jesus wouldn't like the have-nots thinking of having chimney, even for a short period! But once alien ships take over heaven, chimney will be freely distributed to everyone.

Loving Annie said...

Happy Saturday afternoon Odat !
Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em !

Pawlie Kokonuts said...

Aptly put. Notes from the Penile Colony, where our punishment is erected against all odds, where times are sometimes flaccid and placid, where turgidity is fleeting.

ian said...

I like to have mine with me at all times, in case someone wants to reach out and touch me.

I be sure to check it at least once a day, even on vacation, because you never know when something will come up requiring me to immediately handle it.


My heart runneth over... said...

Hope your having a wonderful weekend! Loved that...


mist1 said...

I get a lot of email. I also get more than my fair share of penis. Email is nothing like penis.

Michael C said...

I was going to email you about something, but now I've decided against it ;-)

Odat said...

Matt-man, If I were you, I'd call in an expert!

Deb, ok, I'll add it!

pool, send, send, send!

bee, be careful what you eat in here ok???

ramo, it will??????????

annie, ain't that the truth!

pawlie, Look at you, keeping the stiff upper lip there! hehe

Ian, Such the busy guy!!! om my!

heart, have a good weekend also. Nice seeing you!

mist, hmmm..I didn't think so either. but thanks for clearing that up! ;-)

michael, chicken!!!!