"The Jezebel Meme"

Mimi, Queenie of Memes, got me. (again).

The rules for The Jezebel Meme:

It's simple. Tell your favorite dance story and pass the groovy beat to five be-bopping bloggers.

I needed to exercise. I hadn't joined a gym yet when I first moved here. I needed some aerobics!

My "little" girlfriend (she's 4'11" and a dynamo to boot) suggested we go country line dancing at a place that had just opened not too far from where we lived. (Remember now, this is NYC, cowboys are just not part of the scenery and the most likely reason you may see someone wearing a cowboy hat is to cover a bald head).

But I had hope that maybe, I would be lassoed up and taken away from it all... to a nice horse ranch somewhere out west, where the buffalo roam and the skies are not cloudy all day......uh huh AND what a perfect opportunity to wear my "purple" snakeskin cowboy boots (yes I had purple cowboy boots, but I shunned the cowgirl hat and the fringed shirt btw). I'd be a cowgirl jezebel!!!!

So I put on my tightest jeans, (not good for movement) my purple boots and a purple low cut tee shirt and off we went to our first country line dance lesson.

We arrived at the "country western bar" and saw a big wooden dance floor with a railing all around. It reminded somewhat of a roller skating rink. The lights were low....I looked over to the bar area...and saw cowboy hats!!! I wonder if they spoke cowboyese. We shashayed over to the bar...me walking proudly in my purple snakeskin cowboy boots, ordered some drinks....I wondered what cowgirls drink. Do they drink? I played it safe and ordered a diet coke with lime. After all, I was here to exercise, not get drunk. (and maybe find my dream cowboy who'd take me away from it all?).

Ok...the lights blinked and turned dim....a signal for the music and dance lessons to start.

We stroll onto the dance floor and out comes Mr. Country Western Dance Instructor. Nice lil butt he had there!)

Music starts....very low. Mr. Country Western Dance Instructor (Mr. CWDI, for short)....tells us all to line up (ergo, "line dancing"?) and begins his instructions to a country western song, of course, but I just don't recall what song it was....Had a catchy lil tune tho....knee slapping, toe tapping kinda tune (oh wait, that's what it was supposed to sound like).....

Here we go: "two heel taps, two toe taps, one heel tap, one toe tap. Tap right heel forward once, tap right toe back once.......yada yada yada........

But wait..I had questions! was that two heel taps and one toe tap or one heel tap and two toe taps? Geeze....this was harder than it looked.

The line moved smoothly. I didn't. "They" all looked like they've been doing it for years. I tried to tell "them" this was my first time ;-( but they paid me no heed. They stepped right past me swung around, and did it again! Damn. What was I thinking. I knew I had no rhythm! I just knew I couldn't do this! Get me the hell out of here before I die of country line dance dysfunction! I slithered away (in my purple snakeskin cowboy boots) to the railing and just stood there....shamed and watched while the world line danced before me, in perfect cowboy rhythm.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see a little old man with a grey ponytail sticking out of his "snakeskin" cowboy hat and a short grey beard (He looked almost 80 but was in great shape and had clear blue eyes and the nicest smile I'd seen in some time). He asked me why I wasn't up there dancing with the "line". I hung my head and told him I had no rhythm. He told me anyone could do it! I had hope. He took me over to the side and showed me, slowly how to to the one toe tap, two toe tap thingy......I started to get it!!!! (I think he was Santa Clause!) He was too nice ...(not the type of sleeze one would typically find in an out of the way bar in NY). He brought me back into the line and stayed by my side while I danced!!!! I got it! I was staying in line..toe tapping, heel tapping, turning around, dosey doeing and everything!!!! My purple boots were doing their thing. I knew I bought them for a reason and this was it!

I felt like I was on top of the world. One toe tap forward, two heel taps back, .......swing around and do it again........

I did it again and again...until one of my purple snakeskin cowboy boots slid out from under me.

My legs parted in a split.......my "tight" jeans split too! All the way up my butt! I slithered away, again.

I never went back :-(

I tag: Boondoggled Deb; Open Grove Claudia; LaLa; Patti; and Reflecting Pool.

(I start jury duty today, so if I get sequestered, will one of you take care of Snot dog??, Thanks!)

Peace