Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

"The Jezebel Meme"

Mimi, Queenie of Memes, got me. (again).
The rules for The Jezebel Meme:
It's simple. Tell your favorite dance story and pass the groovy beat to five be-bopping bloggers.



I needed to exercise. I hadn't joined a gym yet when I first moved here. I needed some aerobics!
My "little" girlfriend (she's 4'11" and a dynamo to boot) suggested we go country line dancing at a place that had just opened not too far from where we lived. (Remember now, this is NYC, cowboys are just not part of the scenery and the most likely reason you may see someone wearing a cowboy hat is to cover a bald head).

But I had hope that maybe, I would be lassoed up and taken away from it all... to a nice horse ranch somewhere out west, where the buffalo roam and the skies are not cloudy all day......uh huh AND what a perfect opportunity to wear my "purple" snakeskin cowboy boots (yes I had purple cowboy boots, but I shunned the cowgirl hat and the fringed shirt btw). I'd be a cowgirl jezebel!!!!


So I put on my tightest jeans, (not good for movement) my purple boots and a purple low cut tee shirt and off we went to our first country line dance lesson.



We arrived at the "country western bar" and saw a big wooden dance floor with a railing all around. It reminded somewhat of a roller skating rink. The lights were low....I looked over to the bar area...and saw cowboy hats!!! I wonder if they spoke cowboyese. We shashayed over to the bar...me walking proudly in my purple snakeskin cowboy boots, ordered some drinks....I wondered what cowgirls drink. Do they drink? I played it safe and ordered a diet coke with lime. After all, I was here to exercise, not get drunk. (and maybe find my dream cowboy who'd take me away from it all?).

Ok...the lights blinked and turned dim....a signal for the music and dance lessons to start.

We stroll onto the dance floor and out comes Mr. Country Western Dance Instructor. Nice lil butt he had there!)

Music starts....very low. Mr. Country Western Dance Instructor (Mr. CWDI, for short)....tells us all to line up (ergo, "line dancing"?) and begins his instructions to a country western song, of course, but I just don't recall what song it was....Had a catchy lil tune tho....knee slapping, toe tapping kinda tune (oh wait, that's what it was supposed to sound like).....

Here we go: "two heel taps, two toe taps, one heel tap, one toe tap. Tap right heel forward once, tap right toe back once.......yada yada yada........

But wait..I had questions! was that two heel taps and one toe tap or one heel tap and two toe taps? Geeze....this was harder than it looked.

The line moved smoothly. I didn't. "They" all looked like they've been doing it for years. I tried to tell "them" this was my first time ;-( but they paid me no heed. They stepped right past me swung around, and did it again! Damn. What was I thinking. I knew I had no rhythm! I just knew I couldn't do this! Get me the hell out of here before I die of country line dance dysfunction! I slithered away (in my purple snakeskin cowboy boots) to the railing and just stood there....shamed and watched while the world line danced before me, in perfect cowboy rhythm.
I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see a little old man with a grey ponytail sticking out of his "snakeskin" cowboy hat and a short grey beard (He looked almost 80 but was in great shape and had clear blue eyes and the nicest smile I'd seen in some time). He asked me why I wasn't up there dancing with the "line". I hung my head and told him I had no rhythm. He told me anyone could do it! I had hope. He took me over to the side and showed me, slowly how to to the one toe tap, two toe tap thingy......I started to get it!!!! (I think he was Santa Clause!) He was too nice ...(not the type of sleeze one would typically find in an out of the way bar in NY). He brought me back into the line and stayed by my side while I danced!!!! I got it! I was staying in line..toe tapping, heel tapping, turning around, dosey doeing and everything!!!! My purple boots were doing their thing. I knew I bought them for a reason and this was it!

I felt like I was on top of the world. One toe tap forward, two heel taps back, .......swing around and do it again........

I did it again and again...until one of my purple snakeskin cowboy boots slid out from under me.

My legs parted in a split.......my "tight" jeans split too! All the way up my butt! I slithered away, again.


I never went back :-(

I tag: Boondoggled Deb; Open Grove Claudia; LaLa; Patti; and Reflecting Pool.


(I start jury duty today, so if I get sequestered, will one of you take care of Snot dog??, Thanks!)

Peace

20 comments:

Patti said...

I love this story Odat!
Great retelling of your evening.

These days if that had happened to me I may have said "Woopsie Doodley Do."

This will be a challenge. Although I did take aerobics in the 80s...

Patti said...

P.S. Ralph is currently unemployed. I'm sure he would love to take care of Spud. ;~)

Hammer said...

Ouch how embarassing.

I went to a party at one of those bars and people were line dancing to a mixture of Garth brooks and ACDC. I never knew.

My Reflecting Pool said...

Really good story! Nothing like putting purple cowgirl boots to action! give me a couple tags to do this. Looks like fun.

buffalodickdy said...

Line dancing was invented to prove beyond all doubt that white people can't really dance! Once, a verrry long time ago, my wife and I were at a dance that had an impromtu dance contest. We were picked as finalists, but the last dance was a Waltz- which my wife had never done! We conceded, rather than look stupid- which we probably already did, as my wife was 6 months pregnant!

Roger said...

awesome stuff :D

Matt-Man said...

Just pass on this story to the attorneys and judge and you'll be dismissed from jury duty.

The CEO said...

At least you looked good doing it! This is a meme I could NEVER do. I'd be working through th end of the year. I am wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too boring. Good night.

Michael C said...

Now THAT is a story!!! I never tried line dancing but used to hang out at cowboy bars.

Good look with the JD.

lala said...

How embarrassing! But hilarious. Great story, Odat. =)

Open Grove Claudia said...

UUUUHHHHHHH!!! How can I top that great story!?! You know we wear our Daisy Dukes out here in the west. Show's the boys our legs....

Paul said...

Odat wanna boogie ? PEACE !! :-)

katherine. said...

damn purple boots!

we could petition the judge to keep you blogging....unless you WANT to be sequestered....smile

Sarge Charlie said...

You are The Jezebel, I know cause I just saw you panties.....

You are a winner for sure so I am doing a warm up.........

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

odat sarge saw your panties? ha ha ha...

and what's up with the jury duty, i just got a notice too! boo hiss. i am going to knit hangmen nooses and let them hang over the box. drat! they have no cake. i know cause i have had this SO MANY times already and there is only what you bring yourself to eat.

smiles, bee

ps: hang 'em odat!

Mimi Lenox said...

LOL my prissy behind off.
What a fabulous story, Odat! I can see it all now. The ensemble, the rough and rowdy crowd, the smog, the old man with a crush on hot young thing (that would be you) and the purple snakeskins. Gotta have the purple snakeskins.......
Can I borrow them?
Please??!!

crazy working mom said...

That was perfect! I loved it. :)

Odat said...

Thanks all for visiting and your great comments.....I'm sure Patti and Claudia will come up with an great story too!!!

Mimi, thanks for the tag ...and sure you can borrow the purple boots anytime!! they're like cinderella slippers, magic!

Patti said...

Odat, I don't know about that...

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