Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Da Night Before Christmas

I've been told by some that I have a New Yawk accent. (Yeah I think I do when I saw (sore) the following I thought it would be appropriate ta share wit all youse.

(Read this with a thick Brooklyn Italian accent)

'Twas the night before Christmas,
Da whole house was mella,
Not a creature was stirrin',
Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla.

When up on da roof I heard somethin' pound,
I sprung to da window,
To scream, "
YO! Keep it down!"

When what to my wanderin' eyes should appear,
But da Don of all elfs,
And eight friggin' reindeer!
Wit' slicked back black hair,
And a silk red suit,
Don Christopher wuz here,
And he brought da loot!

Wit' a slap to dare snouts,
And a yank on dare manes,
He cursed and he shouted,
And he called dem by name.

"Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,Yo Vinny, Yo Vito,
Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!"
As I drew out my gun
And hid by da bed,
He flew troo da winda
And slapped me 'side da head.

"What da hell you doin'
Pullin' a gun on da Don?
Now all you're gettin' is coal,
You friggin' moron!"

Den pointin' a fat finga
Right unda my nose,
He twisted his pinky ring,
And up da chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh,
Obscenities screamin',
Away dey all flew,
Before he troo dem a beatin'.

Den I heard him yell out,
What I did least expect,
"Merry Friggin' Christmas to all,
And yous better show some respect!"


Patti said...

Merry Friggin' Christmas to you and the Li'l Snot Dog, too.

So have you seen the TREE yet?
Don't forget, I saw it first. Nah, nah.

Lois Grebowski said...

LOL! That's great!
Merry Christmas!

buffalodickdy said...

Thas beyootiful! What friggin' accent youse talkin' about?

Matt-Man said...

Bada Bing, very good. Ya hear me? I said very good. Cheers!!

Christy said...

Think we could get Al Pacino to read it aloud?

Roger said...

Hahahaha I love your accent "Very Sexy" & Merry Friggen Christmas to youess ;D

M@ said...

At least you don't have a New Jersey (toilet bowl) accent, fa Chrissake.

"That's a six-hundred dolla jawb...."

Odat said...

Patti, thanks...and no, I haven't seen the intent is to make it uptown soon...I'm not really near there.

Lois, Hiya, and thanks.

I don't know what they're tawking bout.

matt-man, whadaja say?

Christy, Good idea!

RogerDodger, Thanks sweetie. can I say this....I'm from New Jersey. ;-)


Sarge Charlie said...

hmmmmm..can you translate dat thar fer weuns.

Open Grove Claudia said...

That's cool - a New York Accented poem! :) What's the difference between a Brooklyn accent and a Queens accent. Would that bollocks your poem?

Odat said...

Sarge, Y'all can figger it out yerselves.

To me there are none. But I'll have to ask a native Brooklynite.


katherine. said...'re bilingual!

Gledwood said...

Did you know the reindeer legend is meant to come from starry-eyed Laplandic fly agaric high visions of the reindeer flying after you DRINK THEIR PISS after they eat the red-capped white-spotted mushroom (Santa Claws's colours, note) ... that's the legend of the trippin' Sami so I've been told! ;->...

My Reflecting Pool said...

hehehehehe. Dats friggin be-you-tee-ful.

Michael C said...

Dis was wicked awesome!!

How's dat? Did I pull it off??

Jeff B said...

Yodat, are you tawkin ta me. Dat was un-frigan-ba-leeveabul.

Palm Springs Savant said...

Yo! that is f*ing hilarious (I tried my best noo yawk accent there).

Nosjunkie said...

haha that is so funny

Gene Bach said...

Way funny poem! Thanks for putting it up for us.


Loving Annie said...

I always wondered what mafia holidays were really like :)