Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Empty


The surrealism is leaving.....reality is setting in.
And I don't like it!
I keep expecting everything to be the same.
And it's not.

I keep expecting that phone call at work from hub.
It doesn't come.

I keep expecting he'll be sitting on the couch watching TV when I come home. He's not.

I hate this.


Peace

32 comments:

buffalodickdy said...

I haven't ever lost a spouse, but both my parents are gone. I think I know what you mean- during the aftermath it's like you're in a bit of a fog, but later you know it really happened. Do your best, stay active with friends, it will slowly get better... a Hug.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

and i hate it for you. i have no idea how i would ever get through such a thing. seriously...

hugs, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

ps: odat there is no cake in here again and it is starting to piss me off a little! (did you smile?)

Paul said...

Odat he will always be with you in your heart . God bless !!

Matt-Man said...

I feel for you pal. Hang in there as best as you can and think of the good times. Cheers!!

Sarge Charlie said...

Hi Miss Odat, I have a double hug for you today, pain shared is pain lessened.

Patti said...

It truly is surreal after someone close passes away.
It can go on for a long time, but like Sarge said, pain shared is pain lessened.

Cherish those memories.

((Hugs))

Roger said...

Sorry Odat, think about the good times!

citizen of the world said...

It's amazing to me that you are able to blog this as it hits, and I hope that is helping a little. Hugs to you.

the teach said...

Oh Odat, I feel for you. I imagine it's the worst thing in the world. I think about you all the time!

Angie said...

I've never posted here before but I've been following your journey.

My heart just breaks for you.

Big hugs from a stranger in Michigan.

Casdok said...

I cant even begin to imagine what it must be like for you. (H)

Claudia said...

I wish there was something anyone could say to make that feeling go away. All I can do is offer hugs across the internet!

The Mama Bear said...

I hate it for you. You know we want to take this pain away for you, but what does not break us makes us stronger. Just always remember you are not alone.

Big Mama Bear hugs, and a shoulder to let the tears fall on.

Echomouse said...

{{Hug}} Odat :)

I'm amazed too by how well you are able to articulate your feelings about this. Sharing it with all of us is wonderful. Keep doing that. It will help get you through.

Here's another {{Hug}}
I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I've never lost a spouse either, but all my grandparents are gone, my parents are gone, so I can understand some of what you are going through. I do mean some though. I wish I could make you feel better, but all I can do is love you and send you hugs. So, that's what I will continue to do. Lots of love and many hugs coming your way. :)

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

I am sure that he is watching over you. May the pain and loss decrease and the love and peace increase. God bless.

Dianne said...

You're always so open about how you feel. I truly hope that it helps you to do that - it helps me to read it.

Hugs, Hugs, and more Hugs

Peace.

Akelamalu said...

Oh my dear I can't imagine what you're going through. I'm thinking of you and sending Reiki to help ease your pain. xxxx

Oswegan said...

It's got to be tough. I'm glad to see that you have a lot of support from friends. peace.

Vixek said...

I all I can think to do his send you healing, peaceful prayers from me to you. Hope you can catch them.

God bless you.

Odat said...

Thanks, all from my heart ...It does help to write these things down when I feel them....oh, there's lots more that I don't share...but with all the bad...I do have great memories he left me. I laugh out loud while I'm driving sometimes remembering.
Hugs back to all of you!
Peace

Patti said...

Odat, I just tagged you - a book meme

;-)

Rosie said...

Hello Odat, I'm not sure how I found your blog but just thought I'd leave you a note to say that I hear your pain. I hope with time things will get easier. Wishing you peace,

Rosie

M@ said...

It's the worst thing in the world. I often stew about my former life and, yes, it seems absolutely surreal.

Meloncutter said...

I just can't find it in my heart to leave you a big juicy fart.


I just can't do it.



So.......


I will give you a big juicy...

{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}

hang in there.

Later Y'all.

Christy said...

That picture is haunting and perfect. My heart goes out to you. I wish I had a magic wand or comforting words. I really don't know what to say other than I have faith you will be okay. The strength you have shown thus far has been admirable.

Jeff B said...

Another round of hugs and prayers heading your way!

Open Grove Claudia said...

((hug))

I admire the way you are working with your grief. You are a brave woman - no wonder he loved you so very much.

Mike M said...

Lot's of hugs, sis. My heart aches for you. Just know there is someone south of you that is hold your hand while you work through this.

crazy working mom said...

BIG (((((HUGS))))) to you, my friend!

Palm Springs Savant said...

Odat- I hope that you get some comfort from everyone here on the Blogoshere. We're with you.

katherine. said...

sometimes reality is tough.

I HATE when people say to me "it's a process"....but...uh....yeah...it is....