Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Thursday, February 07, 2008

New Drugs!!!




NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN


DAMNITOL Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
EMPTYNESTROGEN Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out!

ST. MOMMA'S WORT Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
PEPTOBIMBO Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception. DUMBEROL When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
FLIPITOR Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
MENICILLIN Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, 'You make me want to be a better person. '
BUYAGRA Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
JACKASSPIRIN Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat
ANTI-TALKSIDENT A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
NAGAMENT When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.
Peace

23 comments:

Paul said...

Pharmacology is fun!!

Christy said...

Bahahahahahaha. I actually had to slap my hand on my desk for this oen. Lol!

Roger said...

Whos your Doctor lol! I am going to put your bannor up Odat...I just wanted to wait till after todays post! :D

Sarge Charlie said...

"HEY ETHEL, IS THAT YOU ETHEL???

yo dude, dem are some cool drugs...

Matt-Man said...

Better living through Chemistry. Cheers Odat!!

Patti said...

Pharm out!

These are so funny, Odat. My favorite is the first one...Fukitol.

Casdok said...

Ill take one of each please!

buffalodickdy said...

You didn't print out side effects like they do with sleep aids-"May cause drowsiness.."

Julie said...

Oh yeah! This is good!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

These are great! May I add one more -- STARVON, a diet aid?

The Mama Bear said...

I'll take me some samples of all of them!

Dianne said...

Can't decide which one is my favorite. I'll need to test them all!

Real Live Lesbian said...

LMAO! Those are great!

Please pass the Fuckitol!

BikerbabeNJ said...

I'll take 2 of each please...

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Bwahahahahaha, I have every one of these in my medicine cabinet and take as required. Bwahahahahaha. Excellent Odat. :)

Lois Grebowski said...

When I was working for big corporate pahramcy, I used to have the fukitol thing posted in my cube.

Made me smile!
:-D)

I could use some right now...LOL!

Hammer said...

I'm heading to the pharmacy right now!

citizen of the world said...

A pharmaceutical for every need!

Michael C said...

My doc put me on Fukitol a few months ago. The only side affect for me so far has been a near constant tick where I keep shrugging my shoulders and saying 'whatever...I don't care.'

Oswegan said...

Isn't there one for dealing with assholes at work?

Glad to see you are back on the circuit.

Angie said...

Wanna see a teacher shoot coffee out her nose? Just copy this and place it in her school mail box. (true story)

Akelamalu said...

LOL :)

Open Grove Claudia said...

I've been taking Fucitol for a really long time. It works great! :)