Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Monday, August 21, 2006

OMG!!!

This may have been ok with my Mom, but this shit just ain't effing right!!!!!!!!!!(unless of course you change it to "How to be a Good Husband" (sans the makeup!)

Peace


How to be a Good Wife from Housekeeping Monthly
An article published in “Housekeeping Monthly” in 1955. It is a measure of how things have changed since then. While it may make the male readers laugh, it will probably enrage the women readers! (my comments in parens)


One: Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed. (The stove's right over there, dear!)

Two: Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. (Ok fine, I'll do that)

Three: Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. (after I take my prozaik and down three martinis)

Four: Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. (ok, i'll leave work early just for this, better yet, i'll do it before i leave, even better - do it your effing self!)

Five: Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables. (what's a dustcloth?)

Six: Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by.Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. (I live for this!)

Seven: Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. (No problem!)

Eight: Be happy to see him. (as always!)

Nine: Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. (Just a smile? I do this all the time as long as the kids aren't present)

Ten: Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. (Yes dear!)

Eleven: Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. (totally understandable and encouraged!!!!)

Twelve: Your goal: try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. (no need to worry about me, I'll be just fine.)

Thirteen: Don’t greet him with complaints and problems. (Never!)

Fourteen: Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. (I love an open marriage!)

Fifteen: Make him comfortable. Make him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. (Wonder what they're really trying to say and can't cause it's 1955!)

Sixteen: Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. (WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT???????, SHE SAYS SOFTLY)

Seventeen: Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. (OK OK!!)

Eighteen: A good wife always knows her place. (Yeah looking down a barrel of a shotgun!)

3 comments:

Michael C said...

Did I just read the script to an Ozzie and Harriet or Leave it to Beaver epsiode?

I can't believe that was EVER in print! I'm surprised the Good HouseKeeping folks didn't try and burn all existing copies.

meloncutter said...

It would be interesting to see who the managing editor of Good Housekeeping and the author of this story was in 1955. I would bet they were both male. If I even tried to put one of these rules into effect in my house, my fat ass would on the curb with my little bag of crap. I can't really even come up with anything funny to say about this. It speaks for itself.

It's amazing what 50 years will change.

Later Yall......

PARLANCHEQ said...

Great post. I took a class once on women's history and remember reading this 'good wife' list then. And, yes, I think most of the magazines of that era were edited by men who assumed these were the kinds of helpful hints that women needed and wanted. (!)