Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Why is that elephant smiling?

Would you save an elephant??????????

I don't really think I would want this job...would you?????? Hehe

MASTURBATING an elephant in the cause of science isn’t an easy job – just ask wildlife expert Dr Thomas Hildebrandt.
Just touching a jumbo penis – they measure more than 1.5metres when aroused – can have painful consequences as German scientist Dr Hildebrandt reveals.
He said: “One guy I know got a black eye from being hit by an elephant’s penis.
“When you touch an elephant there it starts to flick backwards and forwards and it’s so strong it can knock you off your feet. It’s such a strong movement.”
Dr Hildebrandt, a world expert on elephant and rhino reproduction demonstrates how it should be done in BBC2’s Horizon: The Elephant’s Guide To Sex screened on March 20.
His mission is to help endangered species get into the mood for love and give them a hand - quite literally – to boost their dwindling populations.
In the programme, he bids to help elephants Jackson and Christy – who lives in US zoos 1,200 miles apart – to produce a baby.
It’s a messy business as he massages Jackson’s prostate gland to produce 300ml of semen per orgasm – the equivalent of a can of Coke – which has to be airlifted in giant condoms across America to Christy.
Artificially inseminating an elephant is just as messy – while a catheter is inserted into the cervix, the hapless scientist faces being pooed on.
All the mess is worth it to Dr Hildebrandt who said: “Lots of mammals are facing extinction and artificial insemination is very helpful in saving species.
“Man has created this annihilation of species; it’s up to man to use his ingenuity to save them.”
The programme will also look at the problem of getting semen from a sedated rare northern white rhino and viewers will meet killer whale Shamu who is only too happy to provide sperm samples in the name of science when his trainer shows him a special collection bag.

Peace and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

well happy birthday honey. i left you a nice littly cyber present from tiffanys. do you like it? i knew you would... now about the, er, post of the day? sigh.... never mind. there are just no words. hey! it sucks to lose an hour on your birthday! you can have tomorrow too, ok?

smiles, bee

Meloncutter said...

It's your birthday and all you can come up with is pachederm peepee pulling? Erotic elephants? Fluffing the old tusk? Tossing the trunk? Dang. I am impressed that for your birthday you have subliminally suggested to us that you want, for your birthday, a (hmmmmmmm how to say this and stay politically correct and maintain a sense of decorum??? HMMMMMM.... ) "BIGGIE WITH FRIES" "A WHOPPER" "THE OLD BIG MAC" "THE FOOT LONG CONEY WITH CHEESE" I think you get my drift.

Well Happy Birthday anyway.

Later Y'all

Roger said...

Haha Hey Happy Birthday great post to go with it!!!!

Claudia said...

Happy Birthday!!

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Happy Birthday.

ian said...

Happy birthday! May you find something more stimulating to celebrate it than an elephantine handjob.


Michael C said...

Well Happy Birthday!!! After reading your 'birthday' post, I thinking we all might just want to let nature take its course!!
Happy B-day!!!!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Happy birthday to you, Odat!! After reading this post, I'm afraid to ask how you celebrated.

thethinker said...

Happy Birthday!!

Odat said...

Thank e'one for your birthday wishes.....

Bikerbabenj said...

Happy Birthday (((((((((Odat))))))))))

Lee said...

Gross! And...err..umm...Happy Birthday!